When I Was A Professional Sperm Donor

I have done a number of jobs in my life and talk about how I made money online over the last two decades, but being a sperm donor was certainly one of the most interesting jobs.

And to be honest the most fun!

I was first exposed to the potential of donating sperm for money at university, but it didn’t quite work out, and I reveal why below. But later on, after leaving university I gave it a go again and enjoyed an 18-month “career” as a professional sperm donor whilst living in London.

I played around with the title of this blog post for a while mostly because the title I wanted to use might not be well received.

So, enough of the foreplay and let’s jump into one of the best jobs I have ever done in the last 20 years of working.

First Time Being Sperm Donor

I first heard about sperm donating when at University as a few of my friends did this to top up their money for studying, or more like beer money.

Being a poor student and the bravado of being a bit of “fun” without really appreciating the wider implications, I decided to give it a go.

I and a few friends were accepted as donors after providing an initial sample. Once accepted you have your first full health screening to check if you are medically fine to continue, so no nasty diseases or genetic disorders.

Up to this point, I had never been concerned about needles, but the embryologist was truly terrible taking blood and the needle came out of my vein with blood running down my arm.

The sight of this and her jabbing the needle back into my vein caused me to pass out. But apparently not just pass out, but to collapse on the floor and start shaking, possible in shock.

With the sirens going off, I had a doctor checking me over and asking if I had taken drugs (talk about a stereotype of students!).

I remember clearly thinking my two friends outside must have been thinking “blimey, we’re next!”.

What’s funny now remembering this is going back to halls of residence with a massive bruise on my forehead when friends knew I had just been to the clinic to donate.

Ever since that day, I am still cautious of needles. I believe the embryologist didn’t take blood after that day either!

The experience meant I didn’t try to continue being a sperm donor whilst at university and so only did it the once. I was gutted,

Professional Sperm Donor = Best Job Ever!

A few years later after university, I was teaching myself to be a web developer, mostly through books and picking up small website development jobs. I saw an advert for a clinic based in London that was looking for sperm donors.

I decided to get in touch and give it a try again. I really needed money to help offset the huge costs of living in London and having very little to no work.

I was introduced to a really nice embryologist who talked me through the process, I was still a little familiar with it from the university.

Now, I should mention that there is a limit to how many times you can donate your sperm, so it's not a get rich quick scheme. The reason is the last thing you want is in years to come is that your genetic offspring are now sleeping with others and sharing the same genetic code!

Although I understand this is can be fairly common in certain places of the World.

Back then the sperm donation limit was 20 times, however, I was asked to donate much more than this in order to stockpile sperm for the couples who had already started to have children with my donation.

As such, I believe I went around 40 times, possibly more!

This was great as you can imagine, being paid to do something I would clearly have been doing for free.

How Do You Donate Sperm at the Clinic

The routine for donating was straight forward. I would go to the clinic and be shown to a room that had a few out of date adult magazines and a cup with my name on it.

A quick flick through the magazines and before long the cup was full – well sort of.

I would pass the cup to one of the embryologists and then leave.

Because I ended up donating so many times to ensure plenty of stock, I had started doing freelance contract work in the City of London whilst still doing my weekly visits.

Lunchtime Donating!

One day during my lunchtime I decided to pop in and do a donation.

Clearly no-one in the office knew where I was off to. Unfortunately, during the middle of donating I received a really badly timed call from the office, and it went something like this:

“Hi Adam, can you talk?”

“Yes, I have my hands full but yes I can talk!”

I really struggled to stop laughing at this point.

Apparently my manager wanted me to grab a sandwich for her at the local shop.

Clearly I was going to get one without mayo!

Why Did I Decide To Donate My Sperm

I would very much like to say it was completely altruistic and for philanthropic reasons why I decided to be a sperm donor. Although part of me thought it was a good thing to do, helping couples who are unable to conceive and really want to have children is a good thing to do.

It's not only opposite-sex couples struggling to have their own children, but also same-sex couples looking to have children.

However, the overriding reason was for money the clinic would pay per donation.

It may well sound flippant now, but getting paid to do something I did regularly seemed like a no-brainer to me!

I had also read that regular masturbation was good for you although there is a lot to be said from abstaining as I found out in my 30-days no masturbation challenge.

So, how much money did I earn from donating sperm?

Before guys go rushing to their local clinic to “get rich from donating sperm” – this isn’t a get rich quick scheme. The same as the aptly named make money online course – the rich jerk 😉

I got paid £20 in cash per donation, which I remember thinking was pretty good.

Remember we are talking about 20+ years ago when you could actually have a day out in London for that!

How Many Kids Do I Have?

As you can imagine most guys were a little embarrassed when going to the clinic, but I found this fine.

I got on very well with the embryologist at the sperm Clinic in London. In fact, one day, chatting with her I thought why not ask her out for dinner, little did I know she was married and actually 3-months pregnant!

I was certainly embarrassed that day.

One day though she did let slip how many kids I had as an explanation of why she wanted me to continue donating.

Turned out that I already had 15-kids! That’s right.

Apparently it’s common to have twins and sometimes triplets when using fertility treatment.

This was surprising, to say the least.

Steps to Become A Sperm Donor

You can find a local donation clinic easy enough in your area in most big cities.

If you don’t see an advert, then contact your local health department and they will point you in the right location. For example, in London you can get in touch with https://www.londonspermbank.com/.

When you have your first visit you’ll be asked some general questions and an initial check to see if you’re suitable, see the requirements below.

You will then be tested for a range of infections and genetic conditions via a blood test, for example; HIV 1 & HIV 2, Hepatitis B and C, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Cytomegalovirus, Gonorrhoea, Trichomonas, HTLV 1 and 2, Rhesus antibody screen, Cystic Fibrosis, General Chromosome Screen, as well as ethnic-specific tests.

Next, you will have to provide a primary sample at the center, and your semen will be tested for the overall sperm count you can provide and if it is suitable for freezing.

Are Sperm Donors Anonymous?

So whenever someone finds out that I used to be a sperm donor the inevitable question of anonymity pops up.

When I donating sperm the law was very clear in that it was completely anonymous. The only details are known to the donor-conceived genetic siblings once they turn 16 are basic physical attributes (color of hair, eyes, height), ethnicity, medical history.

From 2005 in the UK the law did change so that more details could be released to the siblings (such as name, birth date, and address) that made it possible to contact them.

All my donations were made well before 2005.

This does beg the question of how I would feel about being contacted by my donor-conceived genetic siblings.

Well, it would certainly be awkward eh?

And to dispel a myth, I haven’t emigrated from the UK to avoid being found by my donated siblings 😉

Almost on Early Morning UK TV

A few months after I finished donating I was contacted by the sperm donation clinic asking if I wanted to appear on UK television discussing the proposed change in the donating anonymity law.

The well-known TV program was Richard & Judy, a household name in the UK for discussing UK issues along with the usual celebrity nonsense.

A little apprehensive I agreed to appear on the program and was told to expect a phone call that week with the details. To do so, I had to keep my week fairly free and initially was fine to do but as the days went by I had to get on with work, so I declined to appear on the program.

However, I forgot to mention to family and friends that I wasn’t going to appear on the program. So, when the feature went live one morning there was some confusion.

The main reason though, in an ironic twist of fate, the pseudonym of the guy who did appear on TV was called “Adam”. The silhouette of “Adam” didn’t look a bit like me either, as for the voiceover to disguise the voice!

So, a few family and friends who I told that I would be appearing on TV were a little confused thinking “that really doesn’t look like Adam we know!”.

Strange Twist of Fate

Fast forward many years and one of my best friends visited the same clinic I used to donate my sperm too to start fertility treatment. Without going into too much detail, they were both healthy adults but for some reason couldn’t’ conceive.

So, they went completely by chance to the same clinic I used to donate my sperm too. Of course, when we spoke about it and realized it was the same clinic, my friend was in shock.

It didn’t really help that I suggested maybe the kid will be born looking like me!

Needless to say, they had a beautiful baby girl, and she looked nothing like me.

How Do I Feel About This Now?

It’s been 20 plus years and I now have a family of my own – I mean kids that I have had an active part in nurturing them.

Knowing that I had 15-kids 20-years ago, means I could be a grandad at the age of 45 is a little daunting.

But, how do I feel knowing I have a number of kids in the UK that I will never see, and they will never see or get to know me?

To be honest, I feel completely fine with this.

I believe that nurture is one of the biggest parts of raising kids. I have seen the influence my wife and I have made with our kids, in terms of humor and behavior – not always good!

My wife did consider adopting years ago before we had our own children, but before we knew it my wife fell pregnant and we were then on the way to having a second.

Do I wonder how the kids are doing, being completely honest not really? They have their life and considering the time, emotional commitment, and finances of going through fertility treatment it’s very likely they had lovely parents. But I do wish them all well and hope they have happy, successful lives.

I am willing to bet this is one of the most-read blog articles on this site. With that in mind, sorry mum if you ever get to read this.

Hopefully you enjoyed this story, it’s certainly a talking point with family and friends even today. You really couldn’t make this stuff up or have I?

I was invited by the lovely guys at Common Ground coworking, where I spend most of my time working, to join them in the first Bungee Workout studio in Penang.

First time I heard this I was really unsure what this actually entailed. But as soon as you see a video all is clear (check out my class video below).

With promises of having a workout that doesn’t feel like a workout, I was keen to give it a try.

So on a Friday night after work primed with curiosity and excitement I headed to my first ever Bungee Workout.

What is a Bungee Workout?

I most likely had the same thought as you the first time hearing the term “bungee workout”. It’s nothing to do with jumping off a bridge and swinging upside down trying to keep your breakfast down.

This new fitness craze has you wearing a harness supported to the ceiling by bungee cords that support your weight whilst giving you a workout.

Using a mix of dance and fitness, Bungee Workouts makes you feel like you part acrobat and part dancer as you go from move to move in hopefully time to the music.

Wearing a harness fitted to a bungee rope you can literally jump into the air and bounce back, giving you a sense of being Superman for a brief few seconds.

Benefits of Bungee Workouts

Aside from the fact, it’s a lot of fun, and I mean a LOT OF FUN, there are some other benefits to this type of workout.

The great thing about being attached to the bungee is its low impact form of exercise, and so if you’re concerned about joint injuries you always supported by the bungee.

Doing Bungee Workout classes regularly you can improve your balance, stability, and coordination. At the same time, you're recruiting your core muscle groups and so you can certainly tone body muscles.

If you’re looking for 6-pack abs and a ripped body, then it’s unlikely that Bungee Workouts are going to work for you.

But if you’re looking for a fun way to raise your heart rate and develop some core fitness then Bungee Workouts could be just the ticket.

How did my first Bungee Workout Class go?

A few of us from the Common Ground office joined the class and we arrived a few minutes before it started at 7 pm.

The studio is impressive and looks like it was designed by the guys at Apple. It’s very slick with everything decked out in white. The only color is the black harnesses you can see hanging from the ceiling.

Along one side is a full floor to ceiling window and another a full-length mirror, which makes space look twice as big as it really is.

It’s a decent size space that can accommodate 11 people plus one instructor per class. You need a fair amount of space around each person as you’re rarely stationary in one spot.

When the class starts you being a brief 5 minute warm-up of jogging around the space to get the blood pumping – in my case that certainly happened, warm-ups really tire me out these days!

After the warm-up, you get into a pair of neoprene shorts that help prevent friction with the harness that goes on over it. Then you walk over to one of the bungee ropes and stand on a spot on the floor directly below the harness whilst an instructor slots you in.

The first time it’s a strange feeling as you can feel like you’re floating but you have on the floor. It only takes a few minutes to get used to it though, then it feels great.

I mean how often can you bounce up and down and pretend to fly like Superman?

Once everyone is clipped in the instructor goes through some basic moves and starts to combine them into a sequence to music.

Within 10 to 15 minutes everyone is enjoying bouncing around to the music and at times feels like we’re in a dance troupe. Whenever someone loses the rhythm and bounces off it's amusing and no one feels embarrassed like it can do in other exercise classes.

Here is a video of our Bungee Workout class at WO Studios

After we knew a few sequences they were put together and the studio lights were dimmed as the disco lights were switched on.

With the music pumping and the lights, it felt like we were in a nightclub – really a great atmosphere and brilliant way to change things up.

At the end of the class, we were unclipped from the bungee rope and began a 5-minute cooldown that involved using the rope for a series of stretches.

The class certainly got the heart pumping and everyone was sweating – a great fun workout that didn't really feel like exercise at all!

How Did I Feel the Next Day?

I have been sedentary for many years now since overtraining as a Triathlete and suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome when 20 years old.

So, whenever I do intense exercise, I tend to suffer more than most for a few days after exercise – sometimes it can last 3-4 days.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I did feel like I had been exercising the day before, but I had no muscle soreness that you would experience from a tough gym workout.

This was great!

I could tell that I was tired though, but this was to be expected. At the end of the day, I had done some exercise something that rarely happens these days.

Will I be doing a Bungee Workout again?

Absolutely. In fact, I am going to take my wife and sister when she is over next week. I can safely say that my brother-in-law won’t be joining us though!

Bungee workouts are a lot of fun and it’s a great way to raise your heart rate and sweat a little without feeling like you’re in the gym.

If you’re in Penang, then I thoroughly recommend heading to WO Studios – you will need to book first though as each class has limited spots. (currently four classes per day).

To give it a try you simply need to “buy, book and then Bungee” – great slogan!

The costs vary according to whether you purchase a single class or buy them in bulk.

One class costs 90RM ($22 USD) or in packages of 5, 10, 20, 50, or if you’re really keen then 100 classes works out to be 55RM ($13 USD).

My family and I have been living in Malaysia since 2016. We absolutely love it.

Every day we get to enjoy the many benefits of being an expat in Malaysia along with being closer to my wife’s family.

It’s not perfect though, then again nowhere is.

The odd annoyances are far outweighed by the pros of living in Malaysia.

The experience of living abroad isn't completely new to me. But this is the longest period I have lived outside the UK.

Apart from sometimes missing family and friends, the experience has been how I expected and we're glad to have made the move as a family. It was made easier by my work being mostly online and being location independent (check out how I made money online).

So, I thought I would write an article on living life as an expat family working online.

Why Did We Move to Malaysia from the UK?

The most obvious reason why most people move abroad is for work reasons. For us, it was for family and lifestyle reasons.

As I have outlined in me about the Life Hacker Guy page, my wife is from Malaysia, and so she does have family living here. I would also say that 75% of the reason for moving to Malaysia is for the lifestyle.

With the shift of work now moving ever online, and the rise of the so-called digital nomads (although they tend to be younger people), it’s easier than ever to work and life pretty much anyway in the world.

I am fortunate that years of wishing to be location independent has meant that my work in the last 20 years has mostly been online. So, up and moving to Malaysia meant that I didn’t need to find a job and initially could work for my UK company until I sold it.

My Previous Experiences Living as an Expat

I have spent a reasonable amount of time living abroad as an expat in places like Munich, Germany, and in Chiang Mai, Thailand in the last 16 years. In fact, I estimate in the last 18 years I have spent at least 6 years outside of the UK.

During this time the term digital nomad didn’t exist.

Most people I met where either backpackers or had physically relocated for their job.

Nowadays it’s not uncommon to meet people with their laptops in trendy coffee shops and be unsure if they are simply checking email, updating their Facebook status, or actually working.

I know recently I used to work the same way, but much prefer spending time in coworking spaces in Malaysia.

My previous periods living as an expat abroad were less than and year though due to circumstances at the time. Funny enough the reasons were mostly around girlfriends!

A picture of the lounge at my Chiang Mai condo in 2004 when I lived there.

Related Post: Why I prefer Malaysia to Thailand

Advantages of Living as an Expat in Malaysia

We have experienced regular trips to Malaysia since I have been with my wife as we tended to come here every Chinese New Year to celebrate with the in-laws.

So, we mostly knew what to expect in terms of weather, food, and people. This really helps and would highly recommend visiting a place a number of times before making the commitment of moving there, especially if you have kids.

Every day is a Sunny Day!

For me one of the biggest pros of living as an expat in Malaysia is the weather.

Maybe it’s because I am a Brit if I do complain about the weather (hey I still do, it's our cultural pastime after all!) it’s because it’s simply too hot, or really too humid here. Often it's in the high 30 degrees here, sometimes touching 40 with 75-80% humidity!

In fact, thinking about it, I may complain about the cold more than the heat.

That’s right, the cold! More of that below in the disadvantages.

When it’s sunny most days, it’s a lot easier to plan what you want to do.

Going to the pool or the beach, or maybe the playground with the kids? No problem, most days it’s possible.

Even if it decides to rain typically you only get a downpour, which is actually quite refreshing and sometimes welcomed – I never would have thought I would be saying that!

Amazing Countries Just a Short Flight Away

I really enjoy traveling to countries in South East Asia. Whilst Thailand used to be my favorite place in the world, as time goes on I have to admit that Malaysia and Singapore are pretty tough to beat.

Thinking about this more, I have realized it's a combination of the improved infrastructure in places like Singapore, Malaysia, and Hong Kong – and also the fact, in my opinion, their more family-friendly.

So, it’s most likely the stage I am at in my life. I am simply not looking for cheap backpacking places but a bit more sedate and luxury place to chill and unwind. Of course, it’s possible to do this in Thailand but I like the organization and reliability of Singapore and places like Kuala Lumpur.

Based in Malaysia it’s easy to hop a low-cost airline to visit all the countries around us for sometimes $30-50 USD.

Ironically, these days I think nothing of jumping on a plane to Singapore or Chiang Mai for a conference or meet up with like-minded people. When living in the UK the prospect of jumping on a plane to Scotland or Spain for an event or meet up, was This is something I rarely did when living in the UK.

Cost of Living

It's impossible not to mention the cost of living when highlighting the pros of living in Malaysia!

Playing the currency arbitrage game means your money goes a lot further in SE Asian countries, even with the downward trend of the British pound these days (don't mention the B-word!).

Our cost of living is significantly cheaper than our days of living in London.

Not everything is cheaper though.

Imported goods at the supermarket can still add up. I have thought on numerous occasions how much cheaper Sainsbury's or Marks and Spencer in the UK would be for things like nappies, decent formula milk, toothpaste, etc would be.

Our apartment cost is also not terribly cheap, there is a reason for this though. We enjoy a large amount of space (double the size of our last house in the UK) in a complex that has a few acres of swimming pools, tennis courts, and playgrounds. I can only imagine the cost of living somewhere similar in the US or warmer parts of Europe.

Lastly, one of the true bonus of living in SE Asia – the FOOD!

Partly responsible for me putting on 5-6 kg since living in Malaysia is the tasty food that can be incredibly cheap. When we go out for dinner, we can spend literally $10 USD for a family of four in market or hawker center (just $1 for morning Roti Canai breakfast – see picture), or we can splash out in one of the many expat or higher-end restaurants and spend $40 USD.

Exposure to Different Languages

My kids understand Mandarin I would say fairly fluently, especially my older daughter. Although my wife has spoken to them mostly in Chinese since birth, their ability to understand and speak in Mandarin has blossomed since moving to Malaysia.

Being around the in-laws and exposure to different languages each day at school or nursery has really developed their language skills.

Now, I really wish I could say the same about me though.

It’s very easy to just speak English here as the language fluency of English is much higher here than in neighboring Thailand. As such, this means it’s simply too easy to be complacent and not bother.

If you have ever checked out my monthly Life Hacker Guy reports, you will know that this is something I am really trying to change.

The Disadvantages of Being an Expat in Malaysia

It’s often the case that some of the disadvantages aren’t realized until you settled down in your new country.

For me, the biggest downside is accountability and customer support.

Poor Customer Service

It’s really tricky to sometimes get someone to actually be accountable for something said or done here. In terms of good customer support, in most cases, you can forget it!

I can give you a quick example, in the local apple-like store called uSwitch, I asked why one wireless keyboard was more expensive than similar much cheaper one.

As is fairly typical in my experience, he simply read out the box contents to me and didn’t actually answer the question.

Me being the sarcastic chap I am, replied “so maybe does this one help you type faster?”.

He replied, “Yes”.

Seeing my reaction, he realized his mistake and said “no”.

To cover up his mistake, he replied “oh this one is powered by Bluetooth!”.

Less than impressed I simply said, “thank you” and left.

So, my point is not to ridicule the salesperson (although when I see him now, I avoid him big time), but to illustrate that the staff in shops where I live 90% of the time don’t know anything.

It’s worse than that though, most sales assistants simply don’t admit in most cases that they don’t know and try to wing it. I would rather hear “I am not sure”.

The irony is that you walk into a shop and staff will often follow you around, trying to be helpful and yet often don’t know anything….. ahhh!

In contrast, many high-end shops that have high ticket items, maybe watches and cars are much better and typically very knowledgeable.

Contrasting Temperatures and Being TOO COLD!

Another disadvantage which is somewhat ironic coming from a Brit is that sometimes it’s simply TOO COLD here.

Office buildings and shopping malls have their aircon really turned up, resulting in cool air being blasted around giving the feeling yours in an icy wind tunnel. So, sometimes your day is one of contrasting hot/cold temperatures.

You find that you’re often moving from hot/humid temperatures to what feels like sub-zero temperatures. On some days it’s like being in a German sauna from the steam room to icy plunge pool!

One of my favorite shopping malls in Kuala Lumpur – Pavillon!

The Expat Bubble

This phenomenon is common amongst expats who move abroad and mix with just other expats. Through a combination of working closely together and often hanging out in similar places can mean living in somewhat of a bubble, far removed from the “normal” everyday life of where you’re living.

Whilst I don’t necessarily think this is bad, it’s a shame if you completely miss out on the more local experiences.

I remember when I lived in Chiang Mai a French friend of mine (we do sometimes get on us Brits!) used to say I wasn’t living a proper Thai lifestyle – whatever that is! For the reason why is because I lived in a serviced apartment that cost 4 times the average wage of a local person in Chiang Mai.

I regularly ate in local markets often being the only foreigner there and enjoyed the odd expat meal too each week. You could say I was living life like a well-off Thai – or as they say in Thailand, I was a little hi-so!

Is Malaysia Now Our Home?

Yes, it certainly feels like it.

We have integrated nicely into a mix of expat and local life here. With my wife being Malaysian it’s nice to enjoy a mix of local living combined with the benefits of being an expat.

Living life as an expat suits me. I enjoy meeting people from all over the world and feeling independent, and not dependent on living in one place, one country, or even one government.

With the interconnectedness of the world, I really like the fact our kids are growing up experiencing living in different countries and cultures. It’s proving a real boost to the learning and understanding Mandarin too!

As the modern world becomes increasingly globalized, international travel is a way of life and getting as easy as getting on a train. Living in different environments encourages us as a family to adapt to different cultures and ways of life, an amazing skillset for our kids to learn.

My family and I are in no rush to go back to the UK – it's a great place to visit but our home now is Malaysia.

For years I enjoyed the fact I worked at home. I never had to do the daily grind of the commute many of my friends and family frequently complained about.

The few times I had contracting work in the city of London I would enjoy the commute for a while as it was a break from a stay at home routine. A big plus was also that I often dictated my own hours and could commute after the busy hours.

With more people moving to a digital working life the need to go into work for many of us has reduced.

When sat in a trendy coffee shop seeing people typing furiously on laptops it’s difficult to know if they are updating their social profiles or joined the growing ranks of digital nomads.

In the last six months I have spent a lot more time working online and wasn’t comfortable both physically and mentally working out of coffee shops.

So, I explored other options for working away from home.

What are Coworking Spaces?

The days of having to sign long office or annual serviced leases are gone.

Most solopreneurs and self-employed people don’t want to commit to long leases due to cost and the corporate environment is what many of us are trying to avoid, at all costs. (I have managed to do it for 20-years now working online).

Co-working spaces are designed for self-employed individuals, or those working remotely from a larger team, and want access to services that may not be available at home.

The number of co-working spaces has shot up in recent years as the demand for fully serviced offices on a more flexible basis has grown. Mostly thanks to the growth of the digital entrepreneur scene.

On a recent trip to Chiang Mai, I was blown away by the number of digital nomads based there, way more since my time in 2004 when I lived there for a time.

There are now co-working spaces in most cities, and in many you have a considerable choice. There are now websites that can even compare different co-working spaces – https://www.coworker.com/. So, you can find one that most suits your needs and feel.

I have used a few co-working spaces in Thailand using day passes, which are a great way to test out a place before committing.

Benefits of Coworking Spaces Over Working at Home

For me, I enjoy being sociable and being cooped up at home day and night is too much. Some days it’s great though and I thrive on little social contact, this is because I am very much an ambivert.

Like most things in life, it’s all about balance.

So, signing up for a co-working space can give you the best of both worlds. You avoid what can be a solitary lifestyle of home-based working and have a professional environment to be truly productive.

Introducing Common Ground Coworking

Whilst out shopping at a local market the other day I stumbled across a brand new co-working space and checked it out.

It’s impressive with not so much a corporate feel, as the likes of say Regus, but is more open plan and has a trendy start-up feel to it.

There is an onsite café that does a great Avocado (Avo), egg, and toast. Also have got into their dirty chai latte too!

There are three options available at Common Ground; hot desk, fixed desk, and private offices.

• Hot Desk – This is desk space out in the lobby area of the Common Ground space and is on a first-come, first-served basis in terms of desk space. You have the fast internet access but could be sat in a different seat each time you visit.
• Fixed Desk – Here you pay for one desk that you can occupy on a permanent basis and can leave your computer monitor or other stuff on the desk. No one else can use it and allocated it to you. It’s less private than a designated office but means you can use the Common Ground facilities 24/7
• Private Office – if you have two or more staff then the private office is the only sensible option, but this also works if you want a little more security and privacy. A friend of mine signed up for a private office although he works on his own because he has a couple of monitors and expensive camera equipment. This option works perfectly for him.

What Option Did I Choose at Common Ground?

Initially, I thought the hot-desk option would work for me, but this felt very similar to working in a coffee shop. The private office seemed a bit too much for me as I work alone and with a laptop, and so I couldn’t’ justify the additional cost.

So, I went for the fixed desk as this seemed the best option.

I have access 24/7, it’s more secure than hot-desking plus I have 6 hours of meeting room access per month and printing as part of my membership.

And if you need somewhere safe to store your belongings you get yourself a locker too.

What are costs of Common Ground Coworking Spaces?

The hot desks work out to be RM499 ($120 USD) per month and whilst this is not expensive for a little bit more you can get a fixed desk. For a fixed desk the cost is around RM699 ($110 USD) per month and means you can access the facilities 24/7 and have a meeting room and printing within the price.

Private offices vary from around RM895 ($220USD) per person but considering these typically are two-person offices then the costs are really around RM1800 ($440 USD) minimum per office. Whilst this is still really good and certainly cheaper than other serviced companies, I felt this was above and beyond what I need for the time being.

The minimum contract period for fixed desks and private offices is 3 months but if you’re looking for short term then hot desking is only one-month.

Why I Really Like about Common Ground?

I have used a few serviced office spaces before, one in London called Citibase and Regus in Malaysia. Both had great people working there and were super helpful, but the companies always felt like they tried to squeeze everyone pound (or ringgit) out of you.

One big tip here, if you’re ever thinking of renting a serviced office – ALWAYS read the small print. There are typically additional fees and even after your contract is finished something that I called an “exit tax”, which is basically the company charging for “repainting” your unit.

In my experience rarely is the office repainted but is a way of getting more money out of you!

So, Common Ground so far feels very different. They make you feel like a member for starters.

Unlike many serviced offices, you get a number of hours of the meeting room free each month. They also give you a printing allocation, from memory I think I get 100 prints per month.

Most companies would find the meeting room and printing allowance sufficient. And if you go over then you have to pay extra for these, which is fair enough.

The main thing I like is how friendly and trendy the places look. I mean just check out the Common Ground Bukit Bintang (Menara Worldwide) co-working space in Kuala Lumpur – amazing!

Access to Common Ground Worldwide

The other big plus is the ability to work in ANY of the Common Ground co-working spaces and not just the one you signed up in.

So, although I am not based in the Bukit Bintang coworking space, I enjoyed a week working from there last month. It was a lot more enjoyable working from Common Ground in Kuala Lumpur than my Airbnb or a different coffee shop each day.

I also got to meet some interesting guys who use the co-working space in Kuala Lumpur

Before the amazing girls and guys at the Common Ground I work at get despondent, I think where I am based in awesome too.

There is a great vibe and it’s an enjoyable place to work from.

The only downside, and it’s an issue with almost every shopping mall, office, and cinema in Asia – please turn up the heating!

Check-out Common Ground

So, if you’re fed up with working in coffee shops all day long and want somewhere cool to hang out with like-minded people, then I would recommend Common Ground coworking.

The price is affordable, and they make you feel like a member of a club.

They regularly run events too and it’s a great way to network with other people who could be doing wonderful things like you too!

My productivity and work output have significantly increased and I get to socialize with like-minded people who live in my home town too.

See if there are any coworking office spaces near you and if in Malaysia, Philippines or Thailand I recommend checking out https://commonground.work/.

My fascination with Asia started with what was meant to be a short holiday with a couple of friends in Thailand in 1998.

This first trip to Thailand changed my life forever.

Several years of backpacking since have given me some truly amazing experiences, to meet some great people (and even date a few of them!) and do things I would never have dreamed of doing before – even maybe even kissing a ladyboy once (only the once!).

I am not religious and am glad my parents left the decision to my sister and me whether we wanted to be baptized when kids. Out of all the religions I have been exposed to, Buddhism seems to be the most appealing to me.

I have read a few books about Buddhism and Buddha, even got a copy of the famous Tibetan Book of the Dead, which is not a light-hearted book by any means.

Guidebooks and fellow travelers have made retreats a popular rite of passage in Thailand and how I first heard about meditation retreats in Thai temples. I found out about one in Northern Thailand, a temple called Wat Ram Poeng on the outskirts of Chiang Mai, where it’s possible to learn meditation in either a 10-day or 30-day retreat.

Photo by Lifehacker Guy

Why Did I want To Stay in A Temple?

Spend any amount of time in SE Asia and you can’t notice the amazing architecture of the Temples, in some places, it’s the equivalent of Starbucks on the corner of most developed city streets. Of course, I am in no way making any direct comparison here!

I was intrigued by Buddhism as it seemed from a lay person’s perspective to be more of a philosophy than a religion.

To be honest, though, I was more interested in learning meditation as I have frequently read about the life-changing results regular practice can bring about.

So, I toyed with the idea of staying in a Buddhist temple in Thailand when I was next traveling there.

It was in 1999 when I went on a longer 6-month backpacking trip that I took the plunge and decided to do a 10-day Vipassana Meditation retreat in a temple just outside the city of Chiang Mai, Wat Ram Poeng.

What appealed most to me was the chance to spend time alone, learning to quieten my overactive mind. I have tried meditation a number of times, I find it very challenging and have never stuck with it for long.

So, staying in a temple where I am there solely to meditate would be a great way to experience and learn from others. A place that would be completely free of distractions.

The irony is that although there were few external distractions, the internal distractions really magnify when left to your own devices.

Wat Ram Poeng in Chiang Mai, Thailand

Wat Ram Poeng is a secluded temple about 4 km southwest of Chiang Mai. Even though it’s not that far away from the bustling city of Chiang Mai, it’s very quiet and feels like you are miles away from civilization.

It’s a beautiful serene temple and is typical with Thai temples very colorful. The gardens are peaceful, in fact, a great place to enjoy walking and contemplating life.

There is little point in me regurgitating the history of this temple, if you’re interested, you can find out more online – check out the history of Wat Ram Poeng here.

The temple is popular with both Thais and foreigners as its reputation as a meditation center has spread. Many people regard this as one of the best places to stay to meditate.

To be transparent here, things change, and it’s been over 20 years since I have stayed at Wat Ram Poeng, so I would suggest checking out reviews from people who have stayed more recently, check out TripAdvisor.

How to get to Wat Ram Poeng

There are a few options for easily getting to Wat Ram Poeng. You can either ask a Tuk-Tuk to take you all the way or a songthaew.

I took a songtaew 20-years ago as there was no Grab or Uber available then.

Now I would suggest simply booking a Grab taxi – much easier and not too expensive.

Preparing to enter the temple

I understood the daily routine of temple life was not going to be easy, especially if you’re used to backpacking like a Brit – read drinking, staying up late, sunbathing, and shopping!

So, I prepared for my 10-day stay in the temple by…. You guessed it – by drinking, staying up late, sunbathing, shopping, and shagging!

With not the best of starts, I was sort of glad to be going to the temple as I believed my backpacking trip had lost direction a bit. It was turning into a prolonged holiday piss-up with the focus on just pure having fun.

The temple is on the outskirts of Chiang Mai and so I took a tuk-tuk there with all my luggage.

I remember standing at the entrance, thinking about what I have let myself in for!

10-day Wat Lam Poeng Meditation Requirements

Before staying at the temple a few requirements are needed, which include.

Offerings for the opening ceremony, consisting of; 11 white lotus flowers (or other white flowers), 11 yellow or orange candles, and 11 incense sticks.

You of course need to hold a valid passport, two passport pictures, photocopies of the passport that include the photo, and visa pages.

Importantly you also need to have two sets of white clothing that are modest and loose so that you can practice. I can’t remember now where I purchased these from.

There is a temple shop where you can purchase basic toiletries like soap and toothpaste etc.

For more information check out the Wat Lam Poeng website.

My Temple accommodation

Other travellers stay in this temple and apparently all these rooms had been taken so I was shown to a monk’s room.

I was somewhat shocked as the room was completely bare!

In the corner of the room was a tiny table fan and a rolled-up mat – that’s it.

This was to be my accommodation for the next 10-days.

Example picture taken courtesy of Kristin from Bemytravelmuse.com

Daily routine

At 4 am the morning drums signaled time to wake up.

Six hours of laying on a solid wooden floor trying to sleep were not the best experience. Even the rough backpacking hostels seemed like a luxury to this!

The weather was cool at this time of the day and showering was tough as the water was freezing cold. At the same time, you were fighting off the mosquitos who were rife at this time of the day.

There was 1-2 hours available for some morning meditation practice before at 6am everyone went to the hall for breakfast.

Before eating the rice and vegetables there were morning chants and prayers.

All I could think of is food. I would be incredibly hungry after 20 hours of no food.

Sat cross-legged on the floor chanting I had to concentrate to avoid falling face-first into the breakfast in front of me. I was so tired so sleeping only a few hours at night and was woken up so early.

Eventually, after 10-15 minutes of chanting, we could eat our breakfast. The taste was okay, it was a functional meal to provide rice and some vegetables only.

Afterward, we would take our bowls to an area where they would be washed up for us. Then a chance for some black tea outside.

That’s right, how could I forget to mention that staying in the temple you only eat twice a day, at 7 am and 10:30 am. After 12:00 there is no food, absolutely nothing is allowed to be eaten.

You can drink as much water and tea as you like. My only salvation was being able to drink coconut milk mid-afternoon when I was already beginning to feel hungry.

After lunch, the routine was to practice walking and sitting meditation until you reported to the abbot for instruction.

When I say instruction, this really only consisted of being told to meditate longer. Even saying it’s difficult didn’t give any guidance, just do more.

This did remind me of the Nike slogan… just do it…

The Abbott had his variation of this… just do more…

The evening was spent doing more practice and drinking tea before going to sleep at 10 pm.

This routine is challenging to say the least.

I slept very little each night, maybe around 2-3 hours, and was in a constant state of hunger.

Daily waking and sitting meditation

This meditation uses a single-pointed focus to calm down the body and the mind. They suggest the point of focus to be the breath when sitting and in walking meditation.

For more detailed information on how to do sitting and walking meditation, I suggest checking out…

I found the sitting meditation incredibly challenging as I had to fight the urge not to fall on my face from the tiredness.

For this reason, I spent most of the time doing walking meditation, which I actually got into in the end.

My practice rarely went beyond 5-6 hours per day, way less than the encouraged 10-12 hours per day recommended by the Abbott and monk.

How long did I last in a Thai temple?

I didn’t cope well with the daily routine of the temple. The few days of preparation before entering the temple really didn’t help much.

I was missing the “high life” of partying in Chiang Mai and staying and spending time in the Thai temple was proving a real culture shock in every way.

Within 48 hours I wanted to leave, I know I was really shocked at how much I wanted to give up. I spoke to the resident German nun about my plans to leave and she persuaded me to stay another day to see how I felt the next day.

So, I decided to try something different and did my own version of the walking meditation as the sitting meditation just made me fall asleep.

I walked incredibly slowly around the temple grounds, slowly breathing between each step.

It turns out from observers in the temple that I looked like I was at peace and had been in the temple for weeks. Speaking to a few of them over tea in the evening I shattered their illusion saying I had to get out.

It was hilarious for me, seeing their faces in shock.

In their eyes it looked like I had cracked the meditation code, instead, my monkey mind was doing somersaults trying to climb the temple walls!

So, I endured (sad but true to say) another 48 hours and then decided to leave.

I managed four days in total, so three nights.

I wasn’t particularly impressed with myself, but I thought if I stayed much longer, they would be taking me out in a straitjacket!

On the fourth day, I packed my pack and left the temple.

Stood outside the temple gates I thought, how am I going to get back into Chiang Mai?

Eventually, I thumbed a ride on a motorbike into Chiang Mai. I immediately decided to get out of town and go somewhere new, so I headed to Chiang Rai.

I really like Chiang Mai, it feels like home to me. So why did I want to escape so quickly? I believe I was ashamed I lasted four days instead of 10 and just ran away.

What did I learn staying in a Thai temple?

Meditation is hard.

It’s especially hard living like a monk and trying to practice 12 hours a day!

It’s funny reflecting on this now, you think of all the hardships in life (and I haven’t had that many to be honest – I have been lucky), you wouldn’t think just walking and sitting for 12 hours per day meditated would rank as one of your hardest things in life.

Very much first world problems, I guess.

At times the retreat seemed like torture and I couldn’t help but think, why I am subjecting myself to this when I could be out enjoying Thailand?

Some afternoons I have to admit there were tears. Sat on the balcony partly reflecting on life and the uncertain future, a small part of me sat frustrated with wondering why I found the simple act of meditations so difficult!

It’s amazing how much you can learn about yourself when you’re made to sit down and simply reflect.

Would I ever Stay in a Temple again?

You can probably guess the answer to this one eh?

Most likely, it’s a no.

If you’re serious about learning meditation and you want a well-structured meditation retreat, then Wat Ram Poeng is a great place to stay for 10-days. I would suggest going if you have already done some meditation or are super keen and take it more seriously than I did.

For me, it was way too extreme. I wanted to learn a little meditation and try to incorporate this into my daily life. Instead it felt like torture, more of the mind, which in hindsight is probably the point!

But if you’re looking to learn more about Buddhism then this 10-day retreat is not going to be for you. You get to experience living in a Thai monastery though, and so if this appeals to you then go for it.

It’s off my bucket list of course, but I am not sure what I would learn from repeating the experience. The bottom line is you don’t need to go visit a temple to learn meditation.

Some quiet and floor space, and importantly the will to do it, is all you need to practice daily meditation.

I am working on the latter.

During this time I have rarely been employed full time only really when I first finished school at 16 for 2 years. Ever since I have worked as a freelancer or in companies, I have either set up myself or with business partners.

Looking back over this 20-year period is astonishing and something I would never have predicted when I was a teenager, or even when at University. I briefly discuss some of this journey on my about me page.

At times it’s been hard work, with plenty of uncertainty. Other times seemed like I was earning “easy” money from what appeared to be an overnight success.

I wouldn’t have changed this for anything though. The prospect of working for a boss full time has literally scared the shit out of me. Having financial security to avoid being a worker bee has been my motivation since leaving University.

Not having a boss has meant I have enjoyed long periods of travel and the holy grail of “making money whilst I sleep” – how much has this statement been flocked to death by gurus eh?

More recently, I have had 18 months off living in Malaysia with my family without financial worries. In fact, the only worry has been that I actually want to be doing something again.

So, what and how have I made money online working for myself over the last 18 years?

Web Development Contractor

After leaving University and experiencing some backpacking I was keen to follow a nomadic working life. At the time I was thinking of being able to live the “laptop lifestyle” is what I wanted to do.

I began learning how to build websites and understand how to program in Active Server Pages (ASP) and ASP.net to communicate with databases such as MSSQL.

Whilst building up my knowledge from working on small sites from local companies I got my biggest break from my friend ( Brooky ) who introduced me to a company in London who was looking for a company to develop a fairly large content managed website (content management system – CMS).

I got the contract, which meant I would earn almost a year’s income for 3 months’ work, although it wasn’t easy as I needed to hire and manage another developer to work alongside me. The job was made even more challenging by the project manager I liaised with kept on changing his mind, causing delays and additional work.

The site successfully launched and made me the “go-to” web guy for lots of their projects going forward. I worked with the then CEO on and off for nearly 8 years! Was I simply too cheap or just a nice, easy to work with guy? I would say bit of both 😉

CMS Software Company

Brooky introduced me to a guy called Matt, a very gifted programmer who had developed a Content Management System (CMS) that wasn’t quite commercially available yet.

His software was around 80% completed but had no customers yet, so I suggested we formed a company and used an upcoming project of five websites as our first client. We could then complete the software and have a portfolio of sites to show other prospective customers.

Whilst the software was at the time very impressive, it was not easy to roll out to new sites and required a reasonable amount of programming. At the time WordPress had only first started was not as sophisticated as it is today. However, it was gaining popularity of free CMS software like Mambo that made it difficult to convince some small businesses to pay for our solution.

Sales weren’t our strong point and so we struggled to get enough paying customers to sustain the business as it was, so we pivoted and looked at developing other software as a service (SaaS) offerings.

Matt played a lot of softball matches and in some netball leagues, who struggled with managing their teams and fixtures. So, we met with one of the league organizers and started developing an online league, team, and venue management software for Netball in London.

It was a hard slog to earn enough money to support both of us whilst developing this software from the ground up. Eventually, though we got a few paying leagues that got us some money, it wasn’t enough for both of us.

At this point, whilst I was confident in the software, I wanted to have time out and go back to be a solo freelancer, with the freedom and flexibility of working and playing hard when I wanted too.

So, Matt and I went our separate ways and he still owns and runs this company today. I am very happy for him, he worked hard to get the software doing a decent turnover and supports hundreds of teams and leagues around the world.

Although at times working in this business was tough, Matt and I had an amicable business separation, with both of us happy with the outcome.

Behavioural Profiling Company

I was enjoying working by myself again and spent time in Germany with my girlfriend at the time, then back to the UK went it all went Pete Tong (rhyming slang for wrong)!

When I moved back to London, I started doing web development for an old client and met a father and son team who had developed a unique behavioral profiling model. They were trying to get this online and migrate from a consultancy only based business to a SaaS model.

My old client had invested in their company and was financing this development and I began working with them for 4-5 months until the parent company began to struggle. I was close to not getting some of the money owed but thankfully was fully paid in the end.

The end result was the Profiling company split away and started out again on their own. They needed a tech guy to develop their online part of the business and approached me to be an equity partner.

The deal was for me to work on a retainer basis and sweat equity to be 10% shareholder of the business.

Whilst it started out great, within a year the company was struggling and the promise of raising venture capital never happened. It got so bad that they desperately needed funds and after re-mortgaging and health issues, the company was in bad shape.

I could see that there was a good chance of failure and so had not fully invested my time into the business and had spread my risk in doing other work too.

They Screwed Me!

The end result was being screwed over by the father and son.

Behind my back, they brokered a deal with another company to buy the assets of the company and employ the son for 2 years on a salaried package. To top it off, the new owner tried to use bully boy tactics to get me to work for a fixed price to do further development.

After I turned down his less than attractive financial offer, he attempted to get me to work for free on aspects of the software he believed wasn’t working as he wished. That was never going to happen.

The dire financial circumstances of the father meant that at the end I only received 55% of what I was supposed to receive from the final low asset sale. He used the money to fund his living expenses.

To say that I was incredibly disappointed with the outcome is an understatement. This was two-fold in that the business did have potential, but especially disappointed from the actions of the father and son. Throughout my time working in the business (2-3 years) they were constantly reassuring me that “we’re in this together” and “you will be paid”, all the promises were empty-handed and ended up being meaningless.

The biggest learning outcome for me was that no matter what background (race, religion, or financial) when push comes to shove people mostly think about their own financial interests. A very sad fact but one that was certainly true in this instance.

Affiliate Marketing

For ages working as a developer I would now and again read stories of solo affiliates earning thousands of dollars per day, the classic earn money whilst you sleep mantra.

Whilst I read a little of the guru blogs, I never really delved into affiliate marketing until I joined a UK network and started to work with them.

At the same time as working with UK based clients, I spent 50% of my time learning about affiliate marketing, choosing to focus on searching engine marketing (SEO) in particular.

After working closely with Moreniche and their team in the UK I managed to earn some money every day. What started off as $10-30 USD per day turned into consistently $200-300 USD per day, making a nice $6k-$9k per month – not too shabby!

During this time, I met a few other affiliates and worked with a few as joint ventures. It was teaming up with one other affiliate that we decided to work on some joint projects that grew to be a business in its own right.

My own affiliate sites did well for a few years but with changes in the Google algorithm and my lack of focus due to working on other projects they began losing traffic. It was great still earning money from the sites for 18 months without doing a single thing.

Digital Marketing Agency

I got on well with another affiliate and our skillset complimented each other. With me being more technical and him having online marketing tactics. It worked well in the beginning, especially as most affiliates tend to be very cloak and dagger whereas we were more transparent with each other’s work.

So, we decided to team up and establish a digital marketing agency, with the focus on a few external clients, our own affiliate sites, and creating some of our own internal brands.

This grew to be a 10-person team with employees in-house and a team of freelancers.

Some of our projects were successful and others failed. Looking back, especially with the power of hindsight it’s easier to see why some did well and others didn’t.

Whilst we had some good success with revenue, we began to realize that our vision for going forward wasn’t the same, and so decided an amicable split would be best.

My business partner bought me out and then I decided to have a break from work and I enjoyed a mini-retirement break for 18 months or so.

Super Greens Supplement

If you have been following my blog, you will have seen that recently I have begun developing my own greens powder supplement. This started out of frustration from not finding a Greens supplement fitting my needs, namely; full ingredient transparency (knowing what’s inside) and having the ingredients I wanted inside.

This project has been fully funded by me with a lot of the web development work done personally. I have hired freelancers to do design work and writers where necessary too.

This, along with my blog is what occupies my “working” life now. Although in reality, it’s fun and most of the time it really doesn’t feel like work.

Flying Solo – Solopreneur Lifestyle

Writing this post was a real blast from the past, following the journey of how I started working online and have treasured being what I call “self-unemployed”!

I hate the thought of being employed by anyone – in fact I think I am pretty much unemployable!

I cherish the freedom of being a solopreneur.

It’s not all plain sailing though. At times can be a little alienating without colleagues to bounce ideas off. This is why I have made a concerted effort to network more in the last 18 months.

On the plus side, there is no pressure of ensuring the company has sufficient turnover to support everyone. It may sound selfish but not having to worry about the financial position of everyone in the company is a liberating feeling.

For me after a few occasions of being in business partnerships, I realize that I am most comfortable this way. Okay, I may not generate and grow a company to be 8 figures, but I am okay with that… The 7 figures are fine! 😉

With the right technical set-up, procedures and virtual staff in place, there is no reason why you cannot run a 7-figure business as a solopreneur.

That’s right, after hearing from a few friends who do this and quick research online I went for it!

I should add that I didn’t stop there. I also shaved my belly and groin area – no buttocks though, mostly because I didn’t really know where or more importantly how to start there. Also, this seems just a little too far!

If you haven’t been hiding under a rock, you will have heard about “male grooming”. I have often considered it pure vanity and something only “youngsters” did. It turns out many guys not only spend more time and money with facial cream but go for the full-back, sack, and crack shaving!

I find this ironic in that having a beard is really popular these days, it seems it’s fine to have facial hair but not pubic hair!

Why Shave Body and Ball Hair?

Good question and one that my wife and close friends in the know have asked me.

There is an argument for shaving from purely health reasons, more in terms of sexual health. This is not a factor for me as I am married and goes without saying that I am not sleeping around.

The evidence for improved health is also questionable as shaving cuts in the groin are likely to be more of a concern as you can have open wounds – nice eh? Another case of what’s considered truth to be utter bollocks 😉

For me, the reason for shaving my balls, other than being an awesome blog post, is purely for aesthetic reasons. Okay the marketing part of me also likes the idea of this being a little bit of clickbait 😉

Years ago, when I competed in Triathlons, I regularly shaved my legs, mostly to feel more “professional”, as all competitive triathletes did it. I have to admit I was glad I did back then as it certainly upped my game as I took the training very seriously.

The girls in my office always commented on had good my legs looked, some obviously were jealous as I was toned from many hours on the bike and pounding the pavement.

A great article about the benefits of shaving your balls on manscaping.com.

How Did I Shave my Balls?

The prospect of putting any sharp object near my plums was nerve-wracking. To be blunt, I initially left shaving the balls for a few days, choosing instead to focus above the groin and belly area.

When I first attempted to shave my balls, I used a hair razor (I know) to trim and then a razor to carefully cut more hair.

I managed to nick my balls twice and was terribly uncomfortable to the extent I had to stop as blood was literally running down the inside of my thigh. Some dapping with toilet paper and a few minutes later and it was fine. However, a few hours later in the shower, the inevitable sting of water on a minor wound was felt.

I should give credit to Manscaped.com again here for some tips on how to go about shaving your balls.

How Does It Look?

I actually think it looks better, so from an aesthetics point of view, I am sold. The wife isn’t!

After shaving my belly, I was shocked to realize there was no six-pack hiding underneath, which was very disappointing. Of course, it looks way better if you have a washboard stomach and not a flabby three-pack.

At the end of the day though, I still think it looks much better. The wife commented that my fat belly looks more obvious, thanks dear!

Funny Amazon Reviews from Men Shaving Their Balls

I enjoyed writing this post although I was hesitant to make it live – for obvious reasons!

To round up this post I thought it would be funny to read some of the amusing Amazon reviews from guys who also attempted shaving their balls for the first time.

Reviews from guys who used Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml product.

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.

I’ll keep it short and sweet, this is what the Alien has for blood, molecular acid in a tube. Slap this on your gentlemen bits, and trust me, they will be able to hear you scream in space.

Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth

If you liked these Amazon reviews you can read a A Compilation of Amazon's Funniest Reviews – Very funny indeed!

Will I Continue to Shave my Belly and Balls?

Yes and no. Certainly will continue to shave my belly but as for the balls not likely! It may look neater but can be a ball ache (pun intended) to do.

I don’t want to get too much into male grooming as I believe most of it is unnecessary for me. Especially as I keep a freshly shaved head every 2 weeks and shave my beard once a week. Basically, I am saying I mostly look presentable.

At the moment yes, until I get fed up with male grooming. In reality, it doesn’t take long to do, especially using Veet and careful trimming with a razor.

I am not going to get obsessive over this though. It was a nice little experiment to see what it looks like, what’s involved, and how tricky it was to do. It certainly wasn’t easy to do, but as with most things, I am sure it gets easier the more you do it.

So, it's very unlikely I will be shaving the balls again. But has made me think of male grooming in a new light, there is something to it!

Recently I have had three interesting conversations with completely different people, who don’t know each other, and they live in different countries (Malaysia, Canada, and the UK). The surprising comment that was made on these occasions that I couldn’t get out my head is their opinion that I am an “extrovert”.

Now, this is really interesting because I don’t believe I fit into the “extrovert” category. But then again, looking at the description of an “introvert” doesn’t seem a good fit either.

Whilst I appreciate you can’t necessarily pigeon hole everyone into one or two boxes, but why did three different people who don’t know me that well, in three different scenarios, immediately think I am an extrovert?

And, if I am not an introvert or an extrovert, then what am I?

Personality Traits Defined

If you weren't entirely sure what the definition of an introvert and an extrovert are, take a look below.

Introvert Definition

is someone who prefers calm, minimally stimulating environments. Introverts tend to feel drained after socializing and regain their energy by spending time alone.

https://introvertdear.com/what-is-an-introvert-definition/

Extrovert Definition

extroverts are often described as talkative, sociable, action-oriented, enthusiastic, friendly, and out-going. On the negative side, they are sometimes described as attention-seeking, easily distracted, and unable to spend time alone.

https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-you-are-an-extrovert-2795426

The Answer – I am an Ambivert

I am willing to bet that most of you haven’t heard of this lesser known personality type. This is the category called “Ambivert” or “Ambiversion”.

We tend to group things into one or other categories to make life easier, but rarely are things so simple. Most likely things are on a continuum going from one type to another. This is the case with the Introvert and Extrovert continuum.

Carl Jung first identified a third personality type that seats in the middle of introvert and extravert. However, it was psychologist Hans Eysenck, who first coined the term “ambivert” in 1947 and is a balance between Introvert and Extrovert personality traits.

Ambivert: The Best Personality Trait?

I never considered it before, but there is a real advantage of being an Ambivert. This is especially if you can harness and balance the benefits of both extroversion and introversion characteristics.

In researching more about the characteristics of Ambiverts, I discovered that there appears to be what’s called an “ambivert advantage”.

Larry Kim highlights the following attributes that this trait shows:

• Ambiverts are more flexible
• More emotional stable
• Ambiverts more intuitive
• Ambiverts more influential

A study that looked at the effectiveness of Extrovert personality traits in salespeople found that Ambiverts are actually the “perfect” salesperson. The reason is that ambiverts are able to find the right balance between selling (extrovert characteristic) and serving (introvert characteristic) customers well.

Source: Wharton School's Adam M. Grant research paper in 2013 – Rethinking the Extraverted Sales Ideal: The Ambivert Advantage

The Happy Ambivert

I like the fact that I am an ambivert. Although it's sometimes not helpful to stereotype it’s good to know where I sit on the introvert-extrovert continuum. It’s also a good conversational starter when a stranger thinks you’re either introverted or extroverted.

Some of the characteristics on both ends of the spectrum were highlighted some months ago when I asked for constructive feedback from friends and family. Mostly in terms of sociable and attention-seeking, which are clearly extroversion.

Finding out I am an ambivert puts these into context and I understand myself just a little more. There are likely many more ambiverts out there who don't fit the introvert or extrovert mold, well know you know what you likely are.

What were your answers to the questions above? 😉

I hated sports at secondary school. Running around a track, being harassed by teachers trying to force me to run cross country during Physical Education (PE) lessons were truly awful.

During PE one day I thought I would really try, just to see how well I could do in cross country running. Not only was I rubbish, I absolutely hated it.

It was only when I left secondary school that I began to take an interest in jogging. No idea why, but I began to jog for 10 minutes at a time twice a week when I was 16 years old.

The experience was painful, and on more than a few occasions I felt I was going to be sick halfway around. Clearly, I was not a natural athlete!

But I stuck with it, again no idea why, and eventually managed to build up sufficient fitness to be able to jog for twenty minutes, 2-3 times per week. I even began running with a friend from school who had always been into sports and cross-country running events.

Turns Out, I am a Runner

Photo by Lifehacker Guy

Colin and I began doing training together and soon completing 5-10km was a breeze. So much so that we entered some local running events.

I was really surprised how well I did, even managing to run faster than my friend who was the sporty one!

Entering local running events, I found that I typically placed within the top 20, which as a young 17-year-old was a great achievement. It seemed as if I have unleashed the hidden athlete and believe me it was VERY well hidden.

Colin suggested we join a local running club, Poole Runners, which met every Wednesday for a long-steady 10 miles around Poole.

Now, neither Colin nor I had EVER run this distance. So, to check we could do it we decided to run 10 miles the day before going to the club. We could do it fine and the next day we did another 10 miles.

Within a few months, I was able to keep up with most of the runners in the club during the weekly 10 miles. There were a few very good runners in the club, who typically ran 60-62 minutes for their weekly steady run – this is a good pace. For me, I would do a respectable 65-67 minutes for my weekly run.

In a strange twist of fate, two of my secondary school PE teachers were also club members. It was incredibly satisfying running past them, each time with a calm look like it was a walk in the park. I resisted the urge to shout “encouragement” to them 😉

Fascinated with Triathlon

Trying to remember how I got into Triathlon and the only memory is being fascinated with the Ironman event.

An American guy called Mark Allen was dominating the Ironman event then, the fitness of this guy was truly formable. He is still regarded as one of the best endurance athletes of all time.

Photo by Lifehacker Guy

I enjoyed mountain biking and already had an affinity for biking, so I swapped out the knobbly tires for slicks and got myself some triathlon bars – making my carbon fiber mountain bike look very bizarre. So much so it caught the attention of some rogue builders at my local pool, who I believe took a liking to it.

Researching road bikes shortly after, I went with an Italian road bike and got some more triathlon bars, and basically become a proper triathlete.

I was never a particularly good swimmer but at a chance meeting with a Swedish breaststroke medal winner, he kindly spent time improving my stroke. Eventually, my swimming improved, and leaving the pool I didn’t look like a drowned rat.

Dedication to Training

My time as a competitive athlete was short but during those few years as a teenager, I experienced athletic achievements I never believed I would, especially considering my lack of sports ability at school.

Apart from the satisfaction of completing triathlons and several half marathons, I achieved some impressive personal bests, including a 33-minute 30-second 10km and 1 hour 17-minute half marathon. I regularly placed in the top ten for running and triathlon events in Dorset.

Looking back at those times, I still remember the dedication and in some cases addiction to my training regime that I developed myself. Rain or shine I would be on the road, on my racing bike on a Sunday morning for my weekly long-distance ride of 60-80 miles (100-120km).

The weekend was when I did the longer sessions, so typically every Saturday morning I would jump on the racing bike to do long 60 to 80-mile rides from Bournemouth out to Weymouth or Dorchester. I was so dedicated that I would do these whatever the weather.

One of my most satisfying training sessions was completing a 75-mile bike road from Bournemouth to Weymouth and back, then changing into my running kit to meet a friend for a 5-mile run. Colin was unaware of the distance I cycled that morning as we kept a steady-paced 7-minute mile for our run.

It felt great and I managed the session easily, which just went to show the level of my fitness at that time.

In hindsight, I should have taken a month off during the winter and resumed training in the New Year. But the early success with local Triathlon races when I was 18 spurred me on to take my training to a new level.

Instead, I trained heavily through the winter months with back-to-back training sessions up hills, running fast-paced 10 miles with the running club and 3-4km swimming sessions.

Start of Overtraining – Doing Too Much

I didn’t realize at the time, but I was overtraining and instead of increasing fitness and building up my body, I was slowly breaking it down.

The tell-tale signs were there if I had stepped back and had the experience to know what was happening to me. I couldn’t put on any weight and remained 50kg (8 stones!) with around 6% body fat, despite trying to eat as much as possible. Fatigue was happening more often, and training sessions were getting harder to finish.

Even today I remember two training sessions vividly where I knew something wasn’t right. During the training sessions, I felt spaced out, like I was outside of my own body, that I literally had nothing left to carry on.

When Dedication is a Mistake

Just before Christmas, it went horribly wrong, I become infected with a nasty virus over the festive period. My glands were incredibly swollen and very painful, along with a killer sore throat I was flat on my back for a week.

Feeling sorry for myself I was getting anxious about losing fitness, so I waited to feel 95% back to “normal”, which was around 10 days, before hitting the pavement and pool again.

Unbeknownst to me and having considered this many, many times over the years, it’s likely I had contracted glandular fever over that Christmas period.

If you haven’t heard of Glandular Fever it can be nasty, check out this reference too, a virus with no medical cure you have to rest and recover naturally. The symptoms are unpleasant too, can feel like a bad case of tonsillitis with fever and extreme tiredness.

Now it’s the last point, extreme tiredness that for me was the real “killer”.

Glandular Fever is not an illness you hear about that often. It’s incredibly dilapidating though if you don’t rest and recover sufficiently to shake it off. In rare cases, it can lead to other more serious conditions, such as pneumonia.

It’s very infectious too and it can easily be spread for up to 7-weeks before showing symptoms.

Back to Training Too Soon

Paranoid about “losing fitness” I was desperate to get back into training so I could perform even better the next season.

In a state of ignorance that I simply had a bad cold, I rested for 10 days, which I believed at the time was long enough. I attempted to get back into my exercise regime, only to be knocked back in a few weeks with the same symptoms.

With no outside help or advice, only really poor advice from local GP’s saying just rest and take antibiotics. I repeated this pattern 3-4 times before pretty much collapsing with fatigue and needing 10-12 hours of bed rest per day.

At the time I was studying for my A levels at Bournemouth College because I wanted to go to University. Because I had been studying so much in my first year, the second year was fairly easy for me and so missing a lot of lessons meant I didn’t really get behind.

Of course, the periods of bed rest and lack of attendance impacted my A-level results, but I still managed to get passing grades and enough to get to Brighton University to do the Sports Science degree I had been aiming for since starting further education.

Nevertheless, the second year of A levels was a hard time mixed with real disappointment seeing really surprising running and Triathlon performances turn into someone who struggled to exercise at all.

The fact is, I struggled big-time with mood and often felt very depressed, a combination of feeling sluggish and continual brain fog, along with really missing the exercise-induced endorphins I used to experience every day.

This was certainly one of the lowest points in my life and has impacted me throughout the rest of my life.

Prior to getting ill, my identity was clearly a triathlete. I lived and breathed Triathlon.

Every week I spent 10-15 hours of swimming, cycling, and running.

I spent most of the rest of my time reading about Triathlon and when finances permitted researching and buying new kits, mostly for my bikes.

My identity changed to the guy who was constantly sick, who even looked sick (pale and glazed eyes). The guy who complained ALL THE TIME about his glands being swollen.

Basically, the guy whose friends would sometimes finish my sentence for me, saying “I would do it, but my glands”.

Diagnosing and Treating Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

These days most people have heard of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) in some way. Possibly not in terms of its likely causes and long-term effects, but certainly that as the name suggests it causes severe fatigue and a recognized disease.

When I first got it, no one really seemed to know what was wrong, even medical GPs were explaining my symptoms in a light-hearted way, suggesting it was a cold and I was simply “unlikely” to be getting ill so often.

After 3-4 times of experiencing the same symptoms, I knew something was wrong but had no idea what.

The first year I went to the doctor every time I got ill and on the first 3-4 occasions took the prescribed antibiotics, which had no positive effect. To make matters worse some doctors I visited even suggested the problem could be psychosomatic – great I thought, they think it’s all in my head!

The social support was appalling too. I spent years with no information or support, and it was only when I was eventually referred to a “specialist” unit in Weymouth did I speak to someone who understood what I was experiencing.

Unfortunately, I cannot remember the name of the unit or the woman that I saw. A few visits later and the advice was to follow a graduated program whereby you literally take baby steps in terms of getting back to your usual life.

I found it very difficult to follow the advice as I didn’t live in a bubble and wanted to have a life. So, I took things easy when I felt I had to and had mostly given up on exercising, only trying a few times since.

Chronically Infected Tonsils

The only medical treatment that really helped to improve my symptoms was when I had my tonsils removed.

I would have swollen glands and sore throats every month for years and a chance appointment with a sympathetic doctor noticed that my tonsils appeared to be pitted and infected. He suggested that I have them removed as they didn’t look in good condition and could have been hindering my health.

Going private I arranged to have them removed the following week, using my 2nd-year student loan and the kindness of my Dad. After the operation I recovered overnight in the most expensive “hotel” I have ever stayed in, a private hospital bed. At £1,000 per night back in 1996 I had to imagine the cost now!

I asked the surgeon if I could keep the tonsils, I know a bit morbid but I was studying anatomy at the time, and he said they were so chronically infected that they were incinerated immediately.

A week or so of recovery and there was a marked improvement in my health. I looked better too, my eyes were less glazed over.

Since then I suffer from swollen glands in my neck much less, at a guess more like once per year instead of the 12 times per year – result!

25 Years with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Sitting down writing this post has triggered mixed emotions. In some ways, it’s been cathartic to reflect on events over 25 years ago now. But there is a tinge of sadness remembering so vividly the transformation from a sedentary teenager to a competitive athlete to being and feeling unwell for many years.

Over the years many people have said that my “condition” was in my head and that I just needed to get out and do some exercise. Or if ill and at the local doctors, you have a low immune system and just happen to be picking up the infections going around.

The most frustrating thing at the time was the lack of awareness from both the public and medical profession about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I remember visiting my local GP early on several times and being prescribed antibiotics!

Crazy now that I think about the damage this over-prescription has probably done.

Eventually, you just ignore the “advice” and just get on with your life.

It’s been fortunate that for most of my adult life I have worked for myself. This affords me the flexibility and the ability to work from home. I mean don’t get me wrong I am certainly not bed-bound but being able to avoid the daily grind of a commute certainly helps when your immune system is poor, and your energy levels are at an all-time low.

Another massive plus for being self-employed is the ability to take time off and travel. I have spent a lot of time in the last 20 years abroad, mostly in Asia, but in Germany too. A quick calculation and I think I have spent 6-7 years abroad.

Sometimes I have worked whilst abroad but mostly it’s been enjoying traveling, which is an awesome way to get out of a rut and feel rejuvenated.

What works for me is changing my lifestyle to fit how I want to live my life. I can live and work anywhere in the world where there is a decent internet connection because of mostly making money online.

Photo by Lifehacker Guy

Related: Chronic Fatigue supplements

25 Years Later

It’s my 25-year anniversary this year since I got Glandular Fever, which seems another life when looking back. A lot has changed for me since then, I really like my life now, I should have no complaints although of course I still do.

The truth is I still miss regular exercise, actually, I REALLY miss training.

Slipping on a pair of trainers and heading out the door for an hour steady run feels great and it’s the easiest way to exercise and stay fit.

In hindsight I know where I went wrong, overtraining with insufficient rest, getting a glandular fever, and not having a complete break from exercise for a month. Who knows, if I had done this what personal athletic performances I could have achieved. But I know that exercising as much as I did was too much and not sustainable in the long term.

There is some good news though, I am sure that having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome led me down the path to where I am now. It heavily influenced my choice of career and with some help from friends pushed me towards an entrepreneurial path that ultimately led me to meet my wife, get married, and has two kids.

An interesting question is if in some weird rub a genie type situation, would I swap being a fit triathlete for my lifestyle now? Not in a million years!

When I was younger I couldn't imagine being married. Period. The prospect of being with one person for the rest of your life seemed daunting, not to mention the difficulty in finding that one person.

The chances of finding that special person whom you can imagine growing old with seems remote. Yet many of us do, well at first anyway. What’s even more amazing is that many of us find the love of our life in the same town we were born in, funny that?

Okay sarcasm aside, three of the main reasons why the likelihood of me getting married was very low:

Firstly, I like having my own space to do my own thing, and being “joined at the hip” sounded too claustrophobic.

Secondly, since a teenager I have never really been too attracted to British women. The fact is I really like Asian women (Chinese/Japanese/Thai) and in my home town of Bournemouth, UK there weren’t many – believe me, I looked! There are more now of course due to more Chinese studying abroad, but I am talking about the ’90s.

Lastly, as a kid not only was I quite shy and I looked like a real dork. Check out the picture of me at my first job on my about page – seriously what’s with the hair! My bashfulness with girls as a teenager I mostly blame this on going to a single-sexed school. At primary school, I had lots of girls as friends and remember playing a fair number of “kiss chase” games in the playground. Clearly going to an all-boys school those games didn’t happen!

Meeting my Wife

When I first met my wife, I was about to embark on a trip I had been planning for years. It was intended to be a one-way trip, and this was to live in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

In a twist of fate, my wife was waiting for me to move out of my room in a shared flat in London that one of my best mates used to sub-let. My contracting job in the city of London had been extended and I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to earn enough in 12 weeks that would last me 18-24 months in Thailand.

As a consequence, my poor wife was delayed moving into her room and had to share sofas and find places to stay for a few weeks. This meant we had a chance to meet and enjoyed a few lunches and coffee catch-up. She even went to two out of three of my leaving UK parties. Keen for me to leave or missing me already? 😉

It was clear we got on very well and from my perspective found her very attractive.

We weren’t flirting with each other but found it really easy in each other’s company. It did occur to me that if I was staying in London, we would likely spend more time together, but I was leaving on a one-way flight to Thailand.

To cut a longish story short after shortly moving to Chiang Mai I started to date my London lass online. This must be a first, single guy who moves to Thailand and starts dating a Malaysian girl in London!

I really enjoyed reminding my Dad who soon joined me in Chiang Mai for a 3-month vacation his words on finding out I was dating so soon after arriving in Thailand.

Clearly this isn’t going to work, there are so many girls here”…[Paraphrased but you get the idea]

Now my Dad loves my wife to bits and so no offense is taken here. Still, it's fun reminding my dad of what he said 😉

My wife is an incredibly private person, no public social media, and an advocate of not posting private information online in any format. So, with this in mind and me wanting to post some pictures on here, I will replace my wife in any photos with a Chinese actress I am quite fond of – Zhang ZiYi.

Cross Border Relationships

Often you hear about cross-cultural marriages being a challenge but, in my experience, this adds a fantastic dimension to the relationship. What helps is my fascination with Asia and in particular China and Chinese culture, more so in terms of food and, architecture and martial arts.

I have never felt being married to a Malaysian Chinese woman that challenging, well no more challenging than being in a relationship!

It helps that I feel completely comfortable in an environment where everyone else is speaking in a foreign language. Many times, when with my in-laws I am immersed in a hot pot of conversational Mandarin, Hokkien, Malay, and English within a few sentences.

Speaking of in-laws, I couldn’t have asked for a nicer family. They have made be very welcome into their family. I feel completely relaxed around them and can joke around as I typically do – although I find the typical British sexual or lavatory jokes aren’t received well and so tend to avoid these 😉

The only downside of having a relationship with someone from a different country, was for years when living in the UK our annual holiday would be going to Malaysia.

Whilst I love Malaysia, so much so we live here now, it would have been nice to have gone to other places too.

Perfect Marriage?

My marriage is by no means perfect, it’s doubtful anyone’s is, but the foundation is pretty strong. Having a very forgiving and understanding wife really helps too! And boy is she sympathetic and puts up with a lot from yours truly.

I mean a lot!

Whilst we're not on the same page on everything, even on some fairly big issues (more on this later), our marriage works, and we hope it continues to do so.

I remember very early on when we first began dating, my sister said to me;

we really like your girlfriend, so don’t cock it up!

Charming eh?

Some of the bigger issues where we differ are… consumerism and family priorities, although I suspect the latter could be a gender thing.

Regarding consumerism, for most of her professional and personal life, my wife advocates responsible usage of resources. So, on a day-to-day level, this means not leaving lights on or the water tap when washing up or cleaning teeth, to shopping mostly for what’s required. This last point contrasts with my continual shopping on a whim for goods that I don’t really need – I just really enjoy shopping!

One of the big things that attracted me to my wife is her compassion.

It still does to this day, even though sometimes I think she takes it too far and should think of herself more at times.

My wife really knows herself really well. She knows her own mind. Years of introspection and thinking through issues when younger has made her one tough cookie.

Just ask her mum!

At the same time, she remains compassionate and is able to compartmentalize different aspects of her life. I still struggle with this.

She balances work and family really well. Her commitment to both is impressive, she doesn’t do anything half-arsed, not like her husband on occasions 😉

I still many times prioritize my wants and wishes over the family. My wife knows this, in fact, I think most of my family and friends do too. It’s not in a malicious way, I just can’t shake off my wanting to be independent.

This has become a BIG struggle since having kids.

Two become Four

Since having children our dynamics as a couple has certainly changed and whilst couples with kids say it’s different when you have a family you don’t really appreciate this until you’re in the situation yourself.

As every parent knows, the first-year having our first child was incredibly tough.

With no immediate family nearby (well 3 hours away) and me working from home, it was a tough time for all of us. In hindsight, I really underestimated the toll it would take on my wife and us as a couple. At times I thought it would break us.

The biggest challenge, more than the nappies although this was pretty awful at times, was the loss of complete independence for both of us. We had to rely on and were dependent on each other completely – something we weren’t used to having been in a strong independent relationship prior to kids.

My Reasons for Why My Marriage Works

Before making this post live I sent it over to my wife to be checked over. I respect my wife’s privacy and so wanted to check she was happy with it – she was.

Interestingly, she commented that I didn’t write my reasons for why I think our marriage works. A very good point and so here they are (in no particular order):

Growing Old Together

So, this is where this post could get a little soppy.

As a couple, we have asked ourselves this a few times in the last few years as we’re now both in our forties (sorry dear). The fact is we can imagine ourselves being fully retired and enjoying our life together.

I hide it well, but I do like being a father. Even still, I do look forward to when my wife and I can be like we were when we first got together.

Living together, in love and yet still independent enjoying our passions.