Why I prefer Malaysia to Thailand (mostly) for Residency

I am very fond of Thailand though and lived there for 10 months in 2004. All in all, I have lived in Thailand for a duration of more than 2 years on and off during the last 20 years.

I have recently met a few digital nomads and the issue of Visas and where is most advantageous to live in terms of quality of life and geo arbitrage.

Please keep in mind that this is my personal opinion and that I am writing this from the perspective of being married to a Malaysian Chinese woman, having two kids, that I work online, and I am in my forties (very much relevant as I will explain later).

With the recent chatter about visa issues in Thailand, the popularity of working online, and that I think many digital entrepreneurs overlook Malaysia as a destination I thought of writing this post. Let me explain why I believe Malaysia is a better option for residency.

Malaysia vs Thailand Overview

Before I start comparing Malaysia and Thailand let's have a quick look at the demographic data on both countries.

Cost of Living (COL)

Living in either Malaysia or Thailand is certainly cheaper than where I lived in the UK (London).

Thailand is home to many bootstrapping digital nomads and is a popular choice as it bridges the gap between backpacking and working online. It’s cheap and you don’t need a lot of money to get by.

I remember the first time I visited Thailand when the exchange rate ended up at 90 Baht to the pound. My friends and I really couldn’t believe how cheap it was traveling in 1998 in Thailand.

Of course, the main reason was due to the recent Asian financial crisis that saw currencies plummet against the USD, Euro and GBP.

Over the years the Thai Baht has gone from strength to strength. When I live in Chiang Mai in 2004 the exchange was 65 Baht to the pound, on recent trips I was getting 38 Baht to the pound. Many long-term residents are complaining now of the cost of living being simply too high in Thailand and are considering other options.

That said, there are many people in Thailand that enjoy a better standard of living there than in their home countries.

How about Malaysia’s cost of living?

Our standard of living is way higher than when we lived in London. The size of the property (and the fact with having a huge pool), utility bills, cost of running car, school fees and eating out, is way cheaper than the equivalent cost in the UK or even Western Europe altogether. I would imagine this is the same as most of the big towns in the US too.

This doesn't mean living in Malaysia is dirt cheap though.

Many family and friends were surprised at this, who automatically assumed we were living here for a fraction of the cost in the UK. This is not entirely true as if you eat out at the shopping mall, buy western goods and have kids at International school the costs do mount up.

To live a very good standard of living in Malaysia as an expat you can easily spend $4k USD per month and more. If you want to live more modestly you certainly can but your lifestyle will be less expat and more local.

When taking into account factors like schooling (I talk about this a bit later) then I believe Malaysia offers a better value for money for families. If you have no kids then Thailand may be cheaper in terms of living costs.

Verdict:

Long-stay Visa and Residency

The visa situation in Thailand worked well and does to a degree now if you’re planning to spend one-two years living there. If you want to be resident, then the cost of a longer-stay visa jumps up to $15k USD plus for the likes of the Thai Elite Visa.

The visa situation is very fluid, and I know that Thailand, in particular, changes the rules on this frequently and so please fact check information for yourself on visa rules and regulations.

If you make a reasonable living online and want to stay in Thailand, then the Elite Visa looks to be the best way to stay without the nervous visa runs.

In contrast, I find Malaysia is more for established digital entrepreneurs who have an existing business that actually generates decent revenue. If that’s the case, then you go apply for Malaysia as a Second Home visa as you should be more easily qualify.

This long-stay 10-year social visa is ideal for anyone with a business outside of Malaysia and who meets the requirements. Again, if you have a relatively successful business you should easily meet the financial requirements.

Even though my wife is Malaysian Chinese I decided to apply for the MM2H as this gives 10-years of residency in Malaysia with no requirements to enter or leave.

Please check the conditions now as this may have changed since I applied and received my MM2H.

Verdict:

Education

When living abroad as an expat with family then education becomes a focal point. We hit the jackpot when we first moved to Malaysia as we're lucky enough to get our kids into an International school straight away.

Not only that, but it’s a school with a great atmosphere with a great mix of expat teachers and pupils. We really like that local and expat kids are enrolled in the school too.

I don’t know much about International schools in Thailand only from three families I have met who now lives in Malaysia. Their feedback was that International schools in Thailand are way more expensive than Malaysia and the quality of education on par, if not better here.

It helps educationally that Malaysia was once a British colony as the level of English here is much higher than Thailand. Most people speak a reasonable amount of English here, especially if they work in white-collar jobs.

In terms of cost, we pay less than the cost of one child in a full-time nursery in the UK for two-kids at International school and day-care for my younger son in the afternoons.

On top of this, we have the chance to have extra-curricular lessons for Piano and Chinese classes. We pay $8 USD per hour for Piano classes compared to $50 USD in the UK. I am not sure of the cost of private lessons in Thailand.

Based on the discussions with other expats on the cost and quality of education in Thailand, then it is, of course, a foregone conclusion that Malaysia wins on the education front.

Verdict:

Food

This is a tough one actually as I absolutely love Thai food and find that I rarely eat it in Malaysia. I do miss a decent Thai meal and still, have fond memories of eating my Phad Seu Gai and Yen Ta Fo “pink noodle soup” at the local market.

It’s hard to beat eating the amazing tastes of Thai market food that costs less than $1!

Even still the bonus for Malaysia is the rich mixture of the three nationalities of Chinese, Indian and Malay dishes.

Part of the reason for me stacking on 6-7 kilos during the first year in Malaysia is due to the tasty food here. I have written before about why eating Roti Canai and Won ton mee are some of the reasons for my weight gain and why I attempted to lose 6 kg last year.

Both countries have a good selection of Western food too. Each week in Malaysia I still enjoy a steak Guinness pie, fish and chips or pizza, alongside mostly traditional Chinese and Malay dishes.

Overall though if I had to choose between Thailand and Malaysia for food, I would pick Thailand.

Verdict:

Weather

Malaysia is closer to the equator and so is overall hotter than Thailand. You can feel it with the higher humidity too. There is no big difference between seasons too, which means the weather is fairly consistent year-round.

There are slight differences that can see around Chinese New Year (February most years) getting hotter with later in the year getting more rain.

This is different to Thailand, which experiences a cold, hot and rainy season each year.

The weather in Chiang Mai can actually be fairly cool around November-December time that you may even consider a long T-shirt or shirt in the evening. You wouldn’t even consider this in Malaysia unless you were spending a long time in the shopping mall or cinema 😉

In South-East Asia though the rainy season doesn’t mean you get 24/7 rain but often tropical downpours that last for a few hours and then out comes the sun.

Before living in Malaysia, I really disliked the rain but now it’s refreshing and cleans up the air making everything feel refreshed again. Of course, this is only nice if you’re inside and don’t have to venture out!

With the weather in mind the best time to visit Malaysia is most from March to October avoiding the heat of Chinese New Year and the rains of November. The best time of year to visit Thailand is between November and March when there is less rain.

I really enjoy the hot weather and don’t miss the UK weather at all. That said, the differing temperatures in Thailand is nice and overall, I would prefer it.

Verdict:

Entertainment and Fun

The vibe in Thailand is certainly more liberal and as a consequence more fun. That’s not to say that Malaysia isn’t, but it’s more restrained.

Anyone who likes to drink may be shocked by the prices of alcohol in Malaysia. This is because of the tax on alcohol, which means that drinks can be expensive, especially if out on a big night out. That said, it can be costly to pay for drinks on average in upscale places in Thailand.

Before I quit drinking alcohol it was fairly common for me to pay 150-180 Baht for a JD coke, prices you would see in London pubs.

Mention Thailand nightlife and soon the conversation veers to the infamous go-go bars and clubs in Thailand. The fact is this occupies a few well-known streets and areas in Bangkok, but you can often find them in other towns too but don't tend to be everywhere you look.

There is no need to go into details on this post about this, if you haven’t experienced this yourself then you can easily find this information online.

Needless to say, in Malaysia, you don’t see any obvious go-go bars or dodgy massage parlors. There are surely going to be some, as there are in most countries and cities around the world.

Anyone who knows me, or spent enough time in a few of my posts, will know – I am certainly no prude, but as a family man I wouldn’t want my kids to see what’s on display in some places in Thailand.

The word to consider here is “some places”. It really does depend on where you go in Thailand but it’s certainly very more prominent than most countries. Basically some streets you would need to avoid with family in toe.

The party and clubbing scene is much more vibrant in Thailand. Only recently I got the opportunity to go to Neon Countdown in Bangkok for New Year to see my favourite DJ Armin van Buuren. This event was awesome and the epitome of a well-organized event in Thailand, where there are a number of festivals each year.

Ultimately, it’s very difficult the beat the party vibe that exists in Thailand.

Verdict:

Things to Do and Places to See

They are fair more sights and sounds to explore in Thailand than in Malaysia and many more places to visit.

Although Malaysia has jungles, beaches, shopping malls, and heritage streets and buildings, Thailand has many more places that are worth visiting.

I have spent most of my time in Northern Thailand in Chiang Mai as I preferred the vibe up there. But the south is home to a number of great islands with amazing scenery, most notably those in the James Bond film Man with the Golden Gun and the Leonardo Decaprio film, The Beach.

The beaches in Malaysia are simply not as varied and as good as in Thailand.

At the end of the day, you could spend months visiting and doing stuff in Thailand but feel that in one month you could have done most of Malaysia’s sights.

I would highlight that one of the nicest places to hang out for a few days is in the Heritage part of Penang called Georgetown. The buildings really are amazing and there are many quirky places to visit and what are called “speakeasy” hidden bars that come alive at night.

Verdict:

Safety

How about personal safety in Thailand and Malaysia?

Personally, I have found both countries to be fairly safe. Except when I first back-packed in SE Asia and found the Asian squat toilets to be challenging, more from a staying clean than safe though!

Infrastructure wise for roads and pavements is much better in Malaysia. You can actually walk along the pavements without fear of falling down holes or knocking into low-hanging electricity cables as you see in Thailand.

How anyone with kids in a stroller navigates the pavements in Thailand I really don’t know!

The roads in Malaysia are great too and are akin to what I would see back in the UK.

Now in terms of driving that’s another matter. Both Thailand and Malaysia can be super maniac when it comes to driving and is pretty much on a par with each other – as in BOTH CAN BE SUPER CRAZY.

Motorbikes will travel up and down pavements when blocked on the main road by traffic. They will beep their horn to warn pedestrians walking on the pavement they are coming close, crazy I know!

In terms of personal safety from robbery or violence, I have thankfully never had any issues in either Thailand or Malaysia. That said, I have heard of a lot of shakedowns by overzealous police in Thailand often in areas of Bangkok. (Thai bloggers have mentioned this on numerous occasions).

The stop and search issues in Thailand as apparently got out of hand at times, causing expats to avoid certain areas. Again, this is second-hand information as I have not personally experienced this.

In Malaysia, there seems to be none of these issues with the police and the issues of bribes have never come up. In contrast to Thailand where I have had to pay once or twice when riding a motorbike. I should admit once for good reason as I wasn’t wearing a helmet (silly I know) but the second time I was.

On balance, I would say Malaysia is safer in my opinion.

Verdict:

Verdict: Malaysia vs Thailand

So what's the verdict on the best country for residency, Thailand or Malaysia?

It's a draw? Read my conclusion below to find out if Thailand or Malaysia is best for residency for expat families.

Final Word

This has been a much longer post than I had originally intended. I just kept thinking of more aspects that I wanted to compare to give as much of a comparison between Malaysia and Thailand as I could.

If I quickly tally up the winners for each of the sections here is the result: Thailand 4 vs Malaysia 4. A draw.

But he is the fact, I am a huge fan of Thailand as a tourist and living there then Malaysia the better option for LifeHacker Guy.

As to which country works best for you depends on your personal situation and where you are in life.

For me having a family, great and affordable International schooling, closeness to my in-laws, with all the benefits of the much cheaper cost of living for what is really a great standard of living – Malaysia is the best choice for us.

If you’re bootstrapping and at the early stages of the digital nomad journey, or are single and looking for wild parties, then clearly Thailand may be a better choice. Just consider that as veterans of Thailand will testify to, the cost of living is certainly rising.

Nowhere is perfect, and even though both places are spectacular, more wallet friendlier than most western countries, there are downsides that over time can be frustrating – to be honest just like living anywhere.

I am interested in your opinion. I am very much a fan of both Thailand and Malaysia, certainly over the alternative of living in the UK or Europe. Where do you prefer to be based in Malaysia or Thailand? Or do you split your time between the two?

Have you ever walked around the markets in South-East Asia thinking, boy this stuff is so cheap I could sell this for 5 or more times back home?

This is exactly what I thought when I was living in Chiang Mai, Thailand in 2004.

I was about to move back to the UK and move in with my new Malaysian Chinese girlfriend. I thought why not export some Thai goods and sell them in the markets in London. It could even be a part-time job for the girlfriend (what a surprise that would be for her!).

So, after a few trips to factories in Hang Dong, much excitement, and managing to convince my girlfriend it could be a nice little earner (cue the Only Fools and Horses soundtrack), I begin my journey into the world of import and export.

Did I make easy money selling Thai goods in the UK? Would I do it again? Let me tell you the story of my time as an import/exporter of Thai goods.

First Introduced to the idea of Import/Export

At the time I was living in Chiang Mai, Thailand (2004/05) the idea of exporting goods to Europe or the USA wasn’t a new concept.

To me, it was though.

I had never been to China and so not experienced first-hand the drop-shipping scene that was gaining momentum amongst digital entrepreneurs.

I had seen lots of Asian products for sale in the popular London markets (Camden and Greenwich) though and so I knew (or at least thought) there would be a target market for these types of goods.

In my mind, it couldn’t go wrong and I was getting the items so cheap – I was easily going to turn a profit!

So, to quote one of my heroes of comedy, Del Boy in the hit sitcom of the ’80s and ’90s, “he who dares wins” and I went out to the factories on the outskirts of Chiang Mai looking to place my first order.

What products did I export from Thailand?

I decided to export mango wood products made in Thailand back to the UK.

A big factor in choosing mango wood to export as my first product to export is a chance meeting of a South American couple who lived in my Chiang Mai condo. Their business involved sourcing products, mostly mango wood, for clients in Europe who sold in big volumes in the markets there.

The couple was very nice, cool, and really fun to hang out with. We enjoyed many nights out for food and drinks in Chiang Mai. You can see the couple (Edwardo and his girlfriend) in the picture below on the left-hand side sat opposite a very young-looking me.

They knew which factories were reliable and how to deal with me. They did all the important quality checks and arranged all the necessary export and import paperwork.

Basically held my hand through the whole process making it super easy to source the products at a good price.

They charged a small percentage on the order to arrange. Working on the basis that I would continue to use them for future orders.

You can see some of the products in the picture below – some nice stuff eh?

It sounded good so I purchased around 400 items, which ranged from candles sets and vases of varying sizes.

Visiting suppliers in Hang Dong

I did a number of follow up trips to the factories in Hang Dong, even with another couple that I met in Chiang Mai at the time. We ended up sourcing some more exotic looking mango wood vases that we sent separately to the main order I placed.

I still remember the excitement of jumping on a motorbike and heading 15km south out of Chiang Mai to Hang Dong, where the majority of the factories are based.

I have never had to urge to own a motorbike in the UK but when in SE Asia riding around town exploring new places on a bike is amazing fun. Although it can be some what scary at times with the insane traffic!

You can't help but admire the craftsmanship that goes into these products.

We spent quite some time there watching them work and checking out the hundreds of different products they produced.

I picked around 35-40 decorative candle sets and vases of different styles and sizes. All in all, I had around 400 items, thinking that buying in bulk ultimately saved on shipping costs on a per-unit basis.

I thought I was being clever, but this back-fired as you will discover later.

Shortly after placing my order, I meet a really nice couple (Richard from the UK and Jing from Thailand) who were also living in my condo for a month. We ended taking a few trips to Hang Dong after hearing my excitement about entering the import/export business.

In the end, we purchased some more mango wood vases that were simply stunning. More expensive than the other goods I ordered, these wouldn't look out of place in high-end hotels and restaurants.

We thought, why not give these a try too. If these sell we could focus on the high-end market and not the market stalls.

Stock ordered. Packing my bags, back to the UK

After 9 months of living in Chiang Mai, I boarded the flight back to the UK feeling both excited and sad at the same time.

Thailand really felt like home throughout the time I spent there.

This was mostly thanks to the wonderful people at Viangbua Mansion where I lived (you can see pictures of where I lived here), but also the experience of living as an expat in a warm country with amazing food.

On the flipside though, I was flying back to move into a flat in London with my new girlfriend who I missed so much. Being so far apart early in our relationship was strained and only by me going back to the UK would give it a proper chance of success.

Actually, a funny part to this story that writing this has reminded me of. When the subject of me moving back and into a flat with my girlfriend come up, I remember rather unromantically saying;

give me 24 hours and I will make the decision whether to move back or not

My girlfriend had really hit the jackpot eh? 😉

I knew that Thailand was not going anywhere, and I really wanted to give the relationship a try to see if she was the one, I wanted to spend my life with.

Turns out I made the right decision as we are married 16 years later and married with lovely two-kids – you can check out why my marriage works article.

So, bags packed and my mango wood ordered getting produced in the Thai factories in Hang Dong, I boarded the plane in Bangkok for the flight back to London.

Shock of moving back

I was in for a real shock though.

Living in my one-bedroom 86sqm condo Chiang Mai was a sheer indulgence and at the time one of the high-end places to stay in the city.

When I got back to the UK the flat, I was moving into with my girlfriend was certainly not of the same caliber. We had decided on a two-bedroom flat in the Isle of Dogs, a short walk to the more expensive areas of Canary Wharf and Greenwich.

But we were certainly NOT staying in the lush and expensive area. In fact, we were in an ex-council house, which to be fair on the inside was quite nice and a decent size. But on the outside, it ways run down and looked, well a bit shit!

So you can visualize this a bit, here is the view of the lovely mountains of Chiang Mai from my condo to the surroundings in the Isle of Dogs, London.

So, not to disrespect the tenants that lived in this building, but there were a lot of guys that were claiming unemployment benefits, but despite not working managed to have fancy new phones and let's leave it at that eh?

It seems that some of the tenant's dogs (well I hope dogs) used the lift for urinating and defecating in, which really added a nice pungent aroma as you got in.

We got used to holding our breath when using the lift.

Stock Arrived. Oh sh1t!

I eagerly awaited the arrival of my mango wood stock. They all looked great, and I believed I couldn’t lose out and would soon be making a killing selling them in the London markets for a lovely jubbly profit.

When the lorry arrived with my stock, I was taken aback by the sheer size of the 11-tonne lorry parked on the roadside. The guys started unloading the boxes – all 40 of them – onto the curb side where they would be staying.

It was my job to lug each box up to my flat, all with the bemused look of the fellow tenants of Nelson Mandela's house.

There were so many boxes that I genuinely had concerns that the weight would be too much for the flat. So, I had to spread the boxes out in the 2nd bedroom, lounge, and even some on the balcony!

Checking over the invoice showed the weight of the boxes totally 500kg (1/2 tonne)!

Now that’s a lot of wood!!!

To picture this, look at a small part of my order in the picture just above – imagine 3-4 times this amount in your flat.

Our First Market Stand (Greenwich, London)

Greenwich was the natural choice for our first attempt at a London market stall as it was fairly close to our flat. The only issue was transportation in that we didn’t own a car and taking a taxi was going to be too expensive.

So, the option was a sack barrow to cart the goods to the market.

This was not ideal and was tiring walking the 1 mile down the road and under the Thames to Greenwich market.

I was beginning to have doubts about this part-time business.

Selling at the Markets

It's surprisingly not that easy to sell stuff at the market. Certainly, it depends on the type of products and the price point of course.

There was a lot of interest in our mango wood vases and candle sets, but sales were sluggish.

I managed to stir up interest when I had my girlfriend behind the stand whilst I was checking the front of the market stand though. I engaged with potential customers talking up the products and they thought I was just another customer.

So, rather cheekily I ended up buying some of my own stock. My girlfriend was not happy though, and with a bemused look on her face sold me my own mango wood vases.

To say she was not impressed was an understatement 😉

I did this a few times and then had to disappear before my girlfriend stopped working.

So, the question is did we make any money?

Well, yes we did, but really not a lot.

When you factor in the cost of the market stand for the weekend at £95 for both days, the time and effort of both of us taking the stock there and setting up – it really wasn't worth it. From memory, we made around £75 in profit that first weekend.

We tried a few more weekends and experienced how inconsistent market selling can be. One weekend we lost money and another weekend we made £100.

After 3 or 4 attempts we gave up on the market stand approach to selling my Thai products.

Going Online

At this time, I had never set up an e-commerce store but was keen to use my mango wood as my first online e-commerce business. Hopefully one of what could be many, by exporting goods in Thailand to the UK and even the USA.

I like to make jokes and a huge fan of Only Fools and Horses (one of the best UK comedy series that started in the 1980s), so I had fun when choosing a domain name for my business.

In the end, I went with “gotwood”.

Great name eh?

I felt this was in keeping with the product and of course some cheeky British innuendo mixed in.

So back then you didn’t have WooCommerce or Shopify, or any of the other e-commerce platforms now available. Instead, I had to hack away at an asp.net shopping cart piece of software.

Like every IT project, this took forever to get right, even though I was a programmer!

The website went live too little to no fanfare as I had no idea how to market the site, I was a mere web developer and not a marketer.

Naturally I got ZERO sales during the 4 months the website was live.

The old motto of “build and they will come” actually turned out to be “build and it will sit there doing jack sh1t”!

Getting rid of stock!

I was getting a little desperate to sell the remaining stock.

Seeing and smelling the mango wood in my flat was frustrating too. It was a constant reminder of what a failure exporting goods from Thailand to the UK had been.

I had to find a solution to get rid of and reduce the chances of me losing a significant amount of money to me back then.

Then I had an idea, why not try and wholesale the remaining stock to one of the market sellers?

I went to a few stalls and eventually found a market seller in Camden who had a reasonably sized shop too, this would be perfect. He had space and would probably want some stock that was a little different from what he had already.

I can’t remember his name now, but he really liked my mango wood stock and so we struck up a deal for all my stock. It worked out around the price I paid for them, so I was happy – in fact, I was elated!

My embarrassment trying to sell the website!

I got rid of the remaining stock, which was great, but I thought why not try and sell the website too.

After painstakingly building the site from scratch it may sense to try and recoup some of the many hours, I had invested in it.

But this went horribly wrong. Mostly thanks to me being a complete idiot!

Let me explain.

When I was testing the backend of the site, I needed a fair number of product images and because I was being lazy, I just pointed the admin website at an image folder on my laptop. This software then went through this uploaded each image and associating it with the products in my e-commerce catalog.

So, this was all random and I didn’t pay much attention to the images uploaded.

When the website eventually went live, I selected just a few products out of the many in the catalog and uploaded proper product images that I took myself.

So, fast-forward several weeks or months later and I am demonstrating the backend to the guy who had just bought all my stock. Within a few minutes of going through the back-end of the website up pops scantily clad women – most embarrassing!

I couldn't believe it.

Needless to say, he didn’t buy the website 🙁

What I learnt from import/exporting goods

It sounded such a simple idea. The margins were there. It couldn’t fail, but it did horrible.

The 9-months I spent on and off with this venture was tiring. Worse still, every single day my girlfriend and I were reminded of it. Imagine having hundreds of kilos of mango wood in your home!

It sounds simple now, but the margins are irrelevant if you don’t have a sales pipeline or even a semi-decent way to market and sell the goods.

When scouting goods in Thailand (or any country with cheap manufacturing) you see the potential mark-up and available margins but

I would like to say that I never jump in with both feet when developing a product, but that’s not technically true. I had a leap of faith when starting my supplement, Green TONIK – but I was fairly confident it would sell from the get-go as I was becoming very familiar with the industry.

So, that’s my first and only go at exporting products from Asia to Europe. I hope you found it amusing as I do now in hindsight my horrible failure of exporting goods from Thailand to the UK.

Are you a fan of Armin van Buuren?

I have been now for over 10-years but have never got around to seeing him live at an event.

Until now that is!

At the risk of making EDM lovers jealous (in fact most of my friends actually), early morning on the 30th December 2019 I headed to the airport to fly to Bangkok for 3-days for the Neon Countdown EDM festival.

I got to see Armin van Buuren and several other International DJs perform live in front of thousands of electronic dance music (EDM) fans.

Here is my rundown of the event including some video clips for you.

Photo by Lifehacker Guy

How did I end up in Bangkok on New Year’s Eve?

To backtrack briefly on how a forty old husband and dad to two kids can end up in Bangkok (or all places) on his own at an EDM festival clubbing over New Year.

Family and friends have all been wondering what the heck happened.

The answer?

To be revealed in my Guru course of “how to solo travel to conferences and EDM parties without your spouse” at the bargain price of $997 very soon… of course entry is limited to the first 100 applicants 😉

Of course, there will be no course… but here is the back story.

My wife called me out of the blue back in October 2019 asking if I knew about a dance festival happening in Bangkok over New Year. I had no idea, but this got my interest… what was my wife going to suggest?

Surpassing all expectations my wife suggested I do a solo trip to Bangkok to see my favorite DJ.

I was, and am still, blown away by my wife's kindness.

Even though I am a short flight away from Bangkok the idea felt strange, thinking of heading there alone and spending New Year’s Eve and day without my family.

So, I booked flights and two nights stay in a Bangkok hotel, purchasing VIP tickets to the Neon Countdown event.

Neon Countdown 2019 DJ Line-up

Over the two days, there were over 14 International DJs playing on two stages, all the action was on the Infinity Stage though. On a few occasions, I went to the Circuit Stage, which was basically a tent located by the food area, and there were very few people there.

So, I didn’t know many of the DJs that were playing. I had only heard of Armin, Ben Nicky, and Dimitri Vegas.

The DJ’s that I actually watched I have shown in green.

Photo by Lifehacker Guy

Show DC Arena Venue

It was my first time to Show DC Arena and is a fairly big place, although I did imagine it to be bigger.

The atmosphere was electric! These guys really know how to run an amazing show.

The organization was great, very professional and all with a happy face. I didn't see any trouble whilst there. Everyone was there to party and have a good time!

Photo by Lifehacker Guy

Collecting the tickets I had no queue partly helped because I had VIP tickets. They strap an RFID wristband that acts as your scan-able ticket at the main entrance and also a way to load money onto it to buy food and drinks.

In the VIP neon sky-deck, there were no queues for topping up the wristband and easy to get drinks.

The staff was somewhat surprised I only ordered a coke, water, and the odd red-bull, since I quit drinking alcohol over 6-months ago.

How I got to the Show DC Arena

The venue for the Neon Countdown event was Super DC Arena which is located on the outskirts of downtown Bangkok and not too easy to get to as there is no public transport. This means you’re at the mercy of Tuk Tuks or Taxis.

Getting there I took a Grab the first night but with the Bangkok traffic, it took me over an hour to get there.

I learned my lesson and the next night I took a Tuk-Tuk. Although much more expensive (like 3 times the cost) it only took 10-15 minutes to get there.

Photo by Lifehacker Guy

For a more in-depth guide to how to get there, ticket pricing, check out Charlotte's excellent post here (the website is currently down).

Music and the Atmosphere

One word – awesome!

The festival was incredibly well run. With numbers running into at least 20k of party revelers, the organization is a massive factor and the Neon Events crew did an amazing job.

I arrived on both nights around 6:30 pm and the venue was still filling up. By the time it reached 9 pm, it was getting busy and the main area was filled with revelers.

The venue was great and everyone was in a party mood. There was free neon face painting, I was a boring old fart and decided not to worry about it.

Although I enjoyed both nights, on balance I preferred the first night mostly because turning up not really knowing what to expect was exciting. Also the fact the headline act was Armin van Buuren, who ultimately I was there to see.

The facilities were great with food and drinks available. The toilets were thankfully clean too!

I am preparing a short video of my trip and should have this uploaded here in the next few days.

Armin van Buuren Neon Countdown Intro

Vini Vici Neon Countdown Intro

My Observations

I have some observations from hearing the DJ sets. I should explain I don't attend festivals or gigs but listen to YouTube all the time to DJ's like Armin (ASOS), Giuseppe Ottaviani, MaRLo, Andrew Rayel, etc.

So, below is almost certainly common when listening to music at festivals.

Didn’t I just hear that track?

I had a distinct case of deja vu when listening to each of the DJs playing their set. I must have heard the same 5-6 tracks played numerous times during the evening.

I know some of the tracks are classics but hearing them so many times from different DJs was a little unusual. It’s not like there is a shortage of amazing EDM music out there!

Armin was less guilty of this as was Valentino Khan. The caveat here is I didn’t hear EVERY DJ over both nights, so I am only referring to the ones I saw.

Bass, how low can you go?

Well in short, not that low it seems!

The bass really didn’t seem as deep and chest-pounding as I thought it would. Maybe this is because of the large open-air event space. I was expecting to really feel the bass in my chest instead of sounding a little bit of the tinny side.

The audio clips taken from my iPhone don’t do it any justice.

Track lengths in the sets

Each track that was played lasted for a short duration and by the time you get into it the next track is mixing in.

Considering every DJ did this it’s likely to be how “live” events work. I am used to listening to Armin Van Buuren’s weekly state of trance where you hear most of the track between mixes.

So many attractive women!

Without wanting to sound creepy here (or have I blown it already?), there were so many attractive Asian women at the event that I had to just mention here to make my male friends jealous! 😉

One that is impossible to ignore is the sheer number of photos the girls take of themselves. I mean no wonder iPhone has to keep increasing its storage with each iteration they make!

Seeing the girls preening and pouting for minutes at a time (not that I was looking!!) did somewhat take away from how seductive many of them looked.

I will let you guys decide for yourself in my collage of Neon Countdown girls!

Photo credit: https://www.facebook.com/METAmusicfestival/

I think we should probably leave this there…

Worthy DJ mentions

Armin Van Buuren of course didn’t disappoint. I have yet to hear duff set from him in all the years listening to him. He has to be one of the most consistently good DJs on the circuit.

I enjoyed Ben Nicky’s set too. I am rubbish at remembering track names, but he played some familiar ones and of course a few Armin ones too.

One guy that was a surprise was Valentino Khan. He played some music I have never heard before mostly because the genre of Trap, Dubstep, and “terror bass” isn’t what I would typically listen to.

Valentino is certainly an energetic DJ. He was up and down flinging his arms around to the beat. A DJ that knows how to engage with the crowd, very much like Armin.

It seems that Valentino Khan collaborates with the likes of Skrillex and Steve Aoki, DJs that I am not a particular fan of as it’s not my type of music.

Recovering from Neon Countdown 2019

Readers of LifeHacker Guy or who know me personally already appreciate I am not the most active of chaps. So, walking and dancing for hours on both nights definitely took its toll.

In fact, after day one of Neon Countdown I felt like I had been in a fight!

My legs and arms were both VERY sore.

Photo by Lifehacker Guy

Checking the step account on my Oura ring (check my review on this cool sleep tracker) showed I had done 28,000 steps on day one followed by 18,000 steps on day two.

That’s a whopping 40,000 steps in just two days!

You can see my step activity during these two days was much higher than my typical 8-10,000 steps.

Photo by Lifehacker Guy

No wonder I was so tired.

You can see how tired I looked on the morning of day two when recovering by the pool at my hotel.

On New Year’s Day traveling back was even more tiring even though the flight was only 1 hour 40 minutes. Thai Smile was delayed and so I ended up getting home at 11:30 pm.

The following two days I spent with my two kids at the pool relaxing as much as I could with two energetic kids jumping and pulling me.

I was glad to be back home. Like always when I go away, getting back to the family is amazing.

It’s a wrap

A great experience and am very glad to have had the opportunity to see Armin van Buuren live.

When standing in the Skydeck observing the crowd I realized how much I would much prefer being in the DJ booth than in the crowd. Clearly, this is a very ambitious goal and not one that I am striving towards, but nevertheless, it would be very cool if this ever happened.

I got a tiny taste of this when I did a few gigs at university, one of my one-man EDM bands I called Collusion (check out my about page for an embarrassing picture of me performing).

Listening to the music played has given me a better insight into what works to generate the atmosphere needed for a decent EDM track.

So, my final word is the two-day Neon Countdown event in Bangkok was amazing. It is a great venue that isn’t too difficult to get albeit traffic in Bangkok can be an issue.

The line-up of DJs was a good mix and as long as you opt for VIP (or VVIP tickets if you’re a real baller) there aren’t queues for getting in or buying drinks.

Thanks again to my lovely generous wife for firstly letting me know about it and secondly for being super cool in suggesting I go!

I live a pretty good life by most people’s standards. I am not super wealthy but my family and I are comfortable living an expat life in Malaysia.

We are financially free for the next 5-10 years (depending on how much I go shopping!).

You would expect to be in this position you would need to be a pretty amazing person. Well, the truth is far from it.

The reality is I suck at most things!

This revelation may seem surprising but if you think about it, it’s really not.

So, I thought it would be interesting to take a look at all the main things that I really sucked at. This is of course not a complete list as the full one would be way too long to post here!

Things that I suck at

• Patience – I got cranky quickly
• Parenting – you need plenty of “patience”
• Being a sensitive husband – I am selfish and do think of myself
• Empathy – I struggle with empathy at times as I tend to think it's easy blame other people
• Cooking – I was known as the sweet and sour kid at university (thanks Uncle Bens!)
• Knowing when I shouldn’t try to make a joke – I like being the comedian
• Studying – Just passed my grades at school but managed to turn things around at university although I am by no means a natural learner
• Languages – I still struggle with English
• Writing – my writing is better than it was but still far from good
• Spelling – Simple typos all the tyme
• Remembering – It can be names, places or even facts
• Investing – When I mostly buy shares they go down or in some cases even get delisted! Recently had a bit more success – check out my monthly reports
• Delegation – I still do 99% of everything for this blog and my business that I run, which is crazy!
• Handy man – I can’t even put up a shelf. My limit is assembling Ikea furniture
• Cars – I have only recently started driving and never really been too interested in cars. Understanding how a car works, I am clueless
• Meditation – I have tried a number of times to regularly meditate but rarely lasts. The only time I could do this consistently was when I stayed in a Thai temple in Thailand many years ago
• Alcohol – Never really drunk beer or wine, absolutely clueless about wine. Less of an issue these days as I decided to stop drinking recently
• Singing – Rubbish at singing like most people in the world
• Time management – I get easily distracted and as my daughter says I am Mr Coffee Chatty man
• Thinking big – I often believe that I lack ambition and don’t really reach for the stars
• Chatting up women – I was never great at doing this, partly I believe because I went to an all-boys school as a teenager. I am not married and so I should probably not right any more on this 😉
• Being employed – Thank fully only been an employee for 2 years when I was a teenager, I hate being shackled to a desk on someone else’s say so
• Being active – Part of the excuse is me blaming chronic fatigue and not being able to run like I used to do. It's part of the excuse though as this doesn’t stop me from being MUCH MORE active than I currently am, which is why I started my weight loss challenge

This is quite a list eh?

Even still my ego isn't bruised as despite sucking at most things I am at least proficient in enough things to make my life great.

Of course, I am still a work in progress!

My Achievements

Despite sucking at most things I have managed to achieve things in my life that I am proud of.

Here are a few achievements from the last 45 years of my life so far.

• Competing in Triathlon and Running events to a good standard – see my story of triathlete to chronic fatigue
• Playing live solo music at University and in nightclub my own music – for my band called “collusion” doing dance music
• Created a 7-figure online business – see how I make money online for the last 20-years
• Have a lovely family with two sweet funny kids –

Even though I suck at most things, I don’t settle for an average existence. And you shouldn’t too!

The fact is I can't.

I believe I am unemployable and so it naturally made sense to be self-employed and to take the risk of working for myself.

For me I feel more in control of my life, living this way.

If I hate to work my whole life is a struggle. I cannot JUST live for the weekends!

Everyone should be working towards personal goals. These can be internally or externally motivated, initially, this shouldn’t matter as the worse thing in life is to be on AUTOPILOT.

If you’re waking up going to a job you hate, eating crap food, and just looking forward to binge-watching TV in the evening – then you need a wake-up call!

Playing to your strengths

These days you can live life in so many ways. There really is no one-size-fits-all with the opportunities available online and offline.

With this in mind, it makes sense to do what you do well instead of trying to do something that doesn't come naturally.

These days it's really easy to get help on things you're not good at. For example, I am not great at photography so I hired a local friend to take photos for me.

The gig economy now means you can hire someone in another country to do work for you at usually a great price. This allows you to leverage your existing skills and expand your business and personal life.

Leverage and scaling are skills I am still poor at and will be writing about this in a future post!

So, work to your strengths and outsource the stuff you're not good at.

Stop sucking at life and start living

It's a cliche but I have found that life really is a combination of hard work and luck.

The saying is that you work hard and you create your own luck, which I totally agree with.

A lot of focus is centered around being an “expert” in a particular field but this isn't necessarily the case. You can be proficient in many areas and NOT SUCK AT LIFE.

This is what it's really about eh?

This is an interesting topic and would like to hear your thoughts on this. What do you suck at and what do you excel at? Or are you like me and proficient enough to live a happy, fulfilling life?

I never normally repost content I see online but recently scrolling on Facebook I saw my friend shared the post.

This inspirational post is from Holly Butcher who sadly died on the 4th of January 2018. I did not know Holly but was really touched by her story.

In fact, reading this did make me upset.

Holly Butcher was diagnosed with a shocking condition called Ewing’s sarcoma, a rare form of cancer in and around the bones, at the tender age of 26. Although she struggled with accepting death she fought on and the day before her day wrote this post on Facebook.

Reading this from start to finish you will see why I was gripped by it and had to post here.

It’s a really great reminder to live life each day to the fullest – something I and most of us are guilty of not doing!

So, although quite a somber post today, there is a HUGE lesson to be learned by the thought-provoking words by this young woman. My thoughts are with her family and friends and hope by re-posting here will inspire others.

This was her message…

“It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared – I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to its inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

1) Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively affect other people’s days.

2) Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that – breathe.

3) You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.

Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.

4) I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise – Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.

I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it.

5) Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.

6) Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.

7) Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

😎 Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

9) It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.

Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.

10) Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.

11) This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.

12) Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

13) Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

14) Get amongst nature.

15) Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females

🤔.

16) Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

17) Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

18) Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

19) Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

20) Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

21) Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

22) Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

23) Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

24) Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

25) Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

26) Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple.

Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year – a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.

..’Til we meet again.

Hol

Xoxo

My final thoughts

If you have read the final words from Holly you would have to be pretty heartless not to have felt emotional. It's incredibly sad and has affected me, possibly in more ways than one.

You see the last few weeks I have been having really shocking dreams (well nightmares more like) that centers around death. I have dreamt that members of my family have died or have long-term sickness – really morbid eh?

I typically don't remember my dreams. And so, for me to even remember them is unusual but my dreams in the last few weeks have been very vivid.

Has reading this message triggered something subconsciously? Who knows.

One thing is for sure, living on autopilot and letting each day roll into the next without much consideration is not the way to live your life.

Time really is short, it's time to seize it. Whether it's wanting to be your own boss, ask the object of your desires out, or just kiss your kids on the head and say you love them. Today is the day.

I have never struggled with alcohol in my life.

Going without alcohol for a month is really easy for me. So, anybody who knows me would probably wonder why I am stopping drinking alcohol altogether.

Actually, I have never been a great drinker.

During my late teens and university years, I was nicknamed the “chunder king” (short for Chunder Loo rhyming slang for spew) by one of my best mates from home.

Nights out partying would end up with me being violently sick, not just once but normally three to four times within an hour. Not a pleasant feeling even though friends found it amusing.

After a few evenings out with expat friends in Malaysia and feeling really groggy the next day, I decided I would quit drinking alcohol. I will explain in much more detail why but first let me talk about my relationship with alcohol.

Photo by Lifehacker Guy

Early Years Experimenting With Alcohol

I have never been a beer drinker, I still sort of blaming my Dad as he used to make his own beer when I was a kid.

Now we're not talking about the fancy home craft brewing kits you see these days (check out Amazon for some examples). In those days it was a very basic, 40-pint metal bowl and wooden stirring spoon over the kitchen hob.

We would always know when he was making a 40-pint tub of beer as the kitchen floor would be completely sticky from the hops spilled on the floor.

I would joke that I could do a Michael Jackson impression from beat it as it was really that sticky!

So whenever I went out for drinks with mates knowing what to drink was never straightforward. I mostly went for sweet-tasting drinks that really didn’t taste alcohol – I really enjoyed the alcopops period. You remember them, Two Dogs and Hooch.

A few of these and you soon couldn’t feel your teeth!

During my teenage years when most kids are experimenting with alcohol, I was very rarely drunk. This was mostly because I was a dedicated runner and triathlete until Chronic Fatigue Syndrome knocked me for six and affected my health.

Later in my working life, I tended to stick to spirits with soft drinks, it could be vodka or Jack Daniels. JD coke eventually becomes my alcoholic beverage of choice. Although I was also partial to Mojito and the odd Pina Colada (I know!).

Benefits of quitting alcohol

There are some really compelling reasons for giving up alcohol. Deep down we probably know most of the reasons why it makes sense to stop, or at least significantly reduce drinking.

I found the seven most effective reasons why I should stop.

When looking at this list of benefits it’s really easy to see why everyone should consider quitting for at least one month, if not longer.

Quitting Social Drinking Easy?

One thing is for sure if you quit drinking your social life does change.

I am not going to deny that it's easy, in some cases as it really depends on your social circle of friends.

It’s easier living in Malaysia to quit drinking that’s for sure. Okay so Malaysia is a Muslim country and alcohol is not cheap like its neighbor Thailand, but it’s not as simple as that.

Let me explain.

I am a British guy and we are known around the world for our drinking culture (or lack of in some cases). Since being old enough to drink I have never been a fan of feeling pressured to drink alcohol.

In my experience, when in the UK a lot of times this is mostly the case.

You just have to go to one of the big British towns in the UK to see it.

I am from Bournemouth and the town looks a mess late at night at the weekend. Most of my friends who still live in Bournemouth rarely go into town during the evening mainly for this reason.

[This scene is from New Year in Manchester, which made the news and was turned into many memes]

You would very unlikely see this in Malaysia.

In Malaysia, it’s really easy to go out in the evening and just enjoy great food and non-alcoholic drinks. And so this makes it way easier to quit drinking.

The only caveat is that the lad's night out with fellow expats in Malaysia I have unfortunately had to stop going to. Not drinking alcohol on these nights would be too much hard work as the focal point of the evening is drinking.

Why did I use to drink?

I thought this was an interesting question to ask. On the surface seems like an obvious answer, to enjoy the effects of being a bit or quite drunk.

But, I believe there is more to it than this.

Often drinking is to fit in with your peers, to feel comfortable, and to give Dutch courage. (I will have to ask my Dutch friends why this is the case!).

I have never been that bothered about being in the gang, the cool gang who drink or smoke behind the bike sheds. So, I don’t believe I drank alcohol because of this.

Sometimes though I drink for confidence which may surprise some people as I don’t appear to be shy or introverted. Actually I believe I am an ambivert, which is a mixture of extrovert and introvert.

For years I never enjoyed the taste of alcohol but since I had discovered Jack Daniels and Coke that’s changed.

I have to admit I enjoy the taste, even the newer flavors Jack Daniels honey and even Fire.

Of course, there is the feeling of being merry, a little drunk. The funny thing is that rarely did I find that alcohol relaxed me.

Yes, I did feel a little merry but it could soon progress to the drunk stage if I got carried away. Then I would be back to square one, the next day feeling regret and unhappy about another unproductive, wasted day.

Feedback from Family and Friends

It’s been over 6 weeks now since I stopped drinking alcohol and everyone has been supportive.

I think most friends know about my blog and my attempts to make improvements in my life, to try different things and see what works for me.

Anyone who finds it unusual and doesn’t get why I am not drinking, then I believe won’t understand the why of what I am trying to do. Either that or likes their alcohol and couldn’t ever imagine giving it up!

Unfortunately, some “friends” may not necessarily like the new you. I do think that if drinking alcohol was the only binding part of the friendship that it's a fairly weak bond, eh?

When arranging to meet in the evening with friends I do point out in advance that I have stopped drinking. This heads-up means that the venue can be changed if need be and that there is no need to have the conversation of why I am likely drinking tea or water.

Bottom line: Will I stop forever?

To be honest I am not sure at this stage.

I really like the fact I never wake up with a hangover. I feel more alert and have no excuses as to why I shouldn’t be productive – other than being tired from possibly the kids waking me up during the night.

So, whilst I am on my 90-day fat-belly challenge I won’t be drinking as I really want to get in shape and lose fat.

I feel much, much better since quitting alcohol and so will continue the tea and odd soft drink for the time being.

For many years I worked on my own and enjoyed the flexibility of having no one to answer to, other than my clients.

Working and making money online on your own for many years can be lonely though. So, at times I decided to join forces with other people to create a business that wouldn’t be so dependent on myself and to be able to scale.

Having business partners to bounce ideas off can really help to grow a business, but sometimes can have the opposite effect and cause stagnation and even a dysfunctional business.

I have set up businesses with friends, friends of friends, and with clients in the past – in total three businesses and several joint ventures.

In this post I outline three main things I learned from my experience of being a solopreneur, business owner, and employer and working on joint ventures over the last 20 years.

Can Business Partners Work?

For sure. They do and can work very well.

I know of several business partnerships from friends that have worked for many years and gone from strength to strength.

Of course, I am not in their business and don’t know the day-to-day issues of which they no doubt face. But they most likely work because they avoid most of the pitfalls I outline in this article.

On balance, work partnerships haven't worked for the long-term and have ended after 2-3 years. Although the last business partnership lasted for 6-years and worked very well for the first 3-4 years, after which time it felt more like we were trapped into a commercial marriage.

The fact is after many years I know why the business partnerships I have formed in the past aren't for me.

Don’t Get into Business with Friends

It’s certainly a cliché but I have found this to be true on a couple of occasions. So, these days I make a big effort to not mix really good friends with business.

Getting into business with an acquaintance can work as long as the parameters are well and truly established into the responsibilities and what happens if it doesn’t go as planned.

This is probably the biggest no-no for me now. I will very unlikely get into a business partnership with a good friend and even think twice about a business relationship with an acquittance.

Having joint ventures with clearly defined work roles and responsibilities is different and can still be very productive and profitable.

Sharing the Same Vision

Ensuring a business partnership lasts and stays the course you need to share the same vision.

In some cases, the scale of your new venture may be out of sync with your partner. This has certainly been the case with me on a few occasions.

In my last business, I was keen to keep a lean business utilizing a more outsourced workforce in contrast to my business partner who was keen to have an office of busy staff. One approach is not necessarily better than another as it very much depends on your preference.

Having for years worked remotely and not within a corporate or office structure I much prefer the nomadic work style. That said, I do like using office spaces, like the co-working space I use in Malaysia, where I frequently work from.

Building a big business with lots of staff to be managed is not for me.

Clear Division of Labour

Forming a business partnership with someone who has the same skillset doesn’t make sense.

There should also be a clear distinction as to who does what and when.

Creating a job description for the business owners is a good idea to consolidate exactly the responsibilities of each party.

Also important in deciding who does what are lifestyle differencesKirsten Lambert and Joan Ripple, founders of Hingham